Daily pray of Love

Loving Those Who Hurt Us

Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and relents from punishing.

Joel 2:13

Lord, this really hurts. My Heart is broken and my faith in love has been shattered. Help me find my way back to wholeness with in. I know that one day I will love again. but right now, I am angry and lost. I know that learning to forgive the one who hurt me is the fastest path to new love, but right now I need all the help I can get just to keep my chin up and my head held high. Help me heal my heart and find it even stronger than before. Help me to one day get to the point where I can forgive, find the lesson in all of this, and move on. Help me show compassion to myself and to the one who caused me this pain. Help me, Lord.

Love isn't always easy to give, but the

giving is always worth it. 

The Most Dangerous Part of your Body

On a recent trip to Detroit with my youth department, I shared a room with my mother, her friend (who happens to be my spiritual mentor), and my Soror, we were sharing funny stories, experiences, and reactions to things that were happening during the conference that we were attending. We were talking about how I can viewed as stand-off-ish or unfriendly at times, which is completely untrue if you are close to me. I'm just cautious as to who allow close to me. (Love everyone, but its not like im clambering for friends, I'll speak and laugh and talk but I don't sit down and have dinner, and just invite everyone into my personal area, that would be foolish) But any way, mother asked the question "can you tell that Brittany use to talk a lot? I use to get calls from the teacher because she couldn't shut her mouth in class". The others shook their heads no and kinda laughed in shock and disbelief.
Well yes it's true I did have this problem, and I had gotten better, due to maturing and life experiences made me more of an introvert, but I do still have my moment of struggle with speaking. Beside the fact that when I'm sleepy I get either (1) extremely cranky or (2) extremely talkative and silly, the Lord had been dealing with me about running to other with my problem rather than coming to Him.
For the sake of transparency, I had a problem with drinking, and I drake to deal w/ my issues, (well clearly that's not good and a drunkenness is a sin), after I got saved, I stopped getting drunk to deal w/ or numb my issues, and I began to talk about things. While that's good, you don't have to tell people everything. There are somethings that you need to just take to God in prayer.
Another issue of the mouth, that, Yes I HAVE, is timing. My spiritual mentor always quotes "Everything that is lawful is not expedient" (1 Corinthians 6:12). Which means, you may be right in what you are saying but that may have not been the time to say it. In the past few weeks the Lord has been trying to bring my issue w/ this to my attention, and it came fully to my attention the other day and a meeting between my pastor and the youth, were he allowed us to tell him how we were feeling. In and attempt to a clean up a major "omg did she really say that moment" that a fellow youth just had I found myself in the same position. What I meant to say didn't fully come out instead it sounded out of order. Yes, everything I said was in fact true but was completely out of order. And I felt it after it came out that I had stuck my foot in my mouth and there was no cleaning it up. And believe me the Lord got me for it.
Sometimes somethings I say come out sounding judgmental. Which is not my intention. The bible tells us that yes we should correct our brother and sister in love. Now me personally it really grinds my gears when people that profess to be "saved, sanctified, and baptized in the name of Jesus, and fulled with the precious gift of the Holy Ghost" make excuses for what they do. My thing is if you are wrong, say your wrong, and don't lean on that fact that we serve a forgiving God as licence to do what ever you want and hide under the cop out of "He knows my heart". Yes, He does but how many time you gone keep doing the same thing before you realize that you have humble your self, pray and TURN from your wicked ways? Like really if someone cheats on you, sayings they are sorry but keeps purposefully doing it would you believe that they were truly sorry? But I digress; now when I give correction and accountability to those who asked me to, the words I use can come off too harsh and judgmental sounding and that's because I get passionate about what I'm saying. So I have to now be slow to speak and ask the Lord to guide my speech so that it is Him speaking  and not me and my flesh. He says "with love and kindness have I drawn you". So we want to do the same. So if I have offend anyone personally, I do whole-heartily apologize, that was not my attention.
I'm learning to use wisdom when I speak, and not to speak out of order. Although, I may be right, there is a time and a place for everything.
There is a part two to this because this topic is deeper than most would think. Hey, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I need to study the power of words, and it plays a big role in being the women that God has called us to be. So part two coming soon as I run off to class. LOVE YOU ALL!

NEW FEATURE: Daily Pray of Love

Teach Me to Love

Take my yoke upon you, and lean from me; for  I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:29-30

Lord, teach me to love as you love, for I know that is the only way I can show my gratitude for your love of me. It's easy to love when all is going well. I need you when loving is not easy. It's hard to love when I'm tired and see no sign of relief; when I just don't like what others are doing, even those closest to me. Enable me to love not because I feel like it but because that is the only way for there to be hope in this world.

Let's Talk about it: A Page from my personal Journal.

So i previously wrote about journal-ing to help you get your healing. I recently got an email from my penzu acct (which i completely forgot about) and i found a entry that I wrote 2 yrs ago about my struggles with FORGIVENESS. I feel that this can help someone. I have come a long way from the time i wrote this and have been able to forgive. 

(NO, I did not use any real names to protect their identity.)

Forgiveness


"Forgiveness. This is something that I am just not realizing I'm having a problem with. I have always thought in the back of my mind if I just keep saying that I forgive a person that one day it would be true but, I realized that is not the case. In all the bad situations I've been in where I have been done wrong by someone, I have just been told to "get over it". People say that all the time, but how do you truly just get over something? I have notice that although I've said I've forgiven certain people, I still hold some pin up aggression towards them. I'm truly trying to live right but hold this type of feeling towards people is not Christ-like. But it is really hard to forgive when people aren't sorry for what they did to you. I've always heard holding on to stuff is not going to hurt anyone but yourself, because that person is sleeping at night not while you sit up here up set. But no one can answer me; how do you do that? I notice that the people I cannot forgive are all females, and we all fell out over a guy. I was able to forgive the guys over the girls for some reason. I did notice that two of these females were once my good friends and then went after the guy I was with. I feel more betrayed by them because of the fact that they were my friends and our friendship clearly didn't mean anything to them because they have absolutely no remorse for what they did to me. The thing I can't figure out for the life of me though, if the Bible says "what so ever a man soweth, that shall he reap", if I am the innocent party in the scenario, why does it seem like the people to do me wrong never reap what they sow? I have never purposely ever done wrong to anyone so why do so many people do me wrong and go on being happy with their lives. Perhaps there is a lesson in all of this that I wasn't getting. I was choosing the wrong people to let get close to me. Perhaps I need to pray for discernment regarding the people in my life. I've ask God to remove people from my life if they weren't meant to be there, but why dose there have to be damage done before they leave? Why not just bow out gracefully? I know this is something I seriously need to work on because, I hindering myself from my blessing because I can't let go of the past and has happened to me. I have taken a step closer to forgive Jae* because I think the only thing that was hindering me is was because when I see her, she would be looking at me crazy. I just recent hear more about the situation with Shasha* with and it is bothering me; more than before. I actually showed emotion. Before I just said I was done with the friendship and left it at that; never really cried about it, but when I found out that she was still having sex with him, had mixed emotions. A part of me was happy because now she wants to be with him and he don't want to be with her and basically be treating her ...but yet and still he still in my face trying to "rekindle" what was (and I know that's wrong to be happy about that, but I feel a little justice being done because she ruined a good friendship over him......I hope it was all worth it). And then I apart of me was upset because, (and for the first time I'm really going to stop lying to myself) I still care about Jason*, and no woman wants to picture the person that they dealt with over a year having continual sex with someone who was once a close friend. For me to look at him and know that he having sex with her.......it hurts. On top of that it just deepens the stab wound in my back that she created by betraying me like that. I really considered Shasha* a good friend of mine. What really makes it worst to me is because; I talked to her about him.....multiple times. But I still haven't learned my lesson about talking to female about my guys (I should have learned that lesson with Tonya*). Because I feel soooo betrayed, I can't see myself forgiving her.......but I know I have to. Like I'm on the border line of hating her for what she did. What is the difference in forgiving in being phony? To me they could appear the same. I honestly need someone to talk to who is not going to judge me. In the past when I told people how I felt in situations like this, they didn't take into account how what I was going through truly made me feel, and kind of looked at me as if I was pathetic and told me to shut up crying and get over it. Get over it? HOW??????? People act like that is the easiest thing in the world to do! If it is please, please tell me how. I would like to know so that I can't lighten the burden on my heart. Heck I haven't fully forgiven Tonya* for what she did to me. I still don't care for her. I really just need something...anything that can help me move on and get on with my life. This might be what holding me up from meeting my Boaz. But I really need to, no matter, how hard it maybe, get Jason* out of my life! I'm low-key trying to hold on to a seasonal person who God has already revealed to me is not who he has for me, all because he telling me what I want to here and I have some people in the background saying "well ya'll got chemistry.....maybe he'll realized what he missed out on and he trying to make it right." Not when he is still having casual sex with Shasha*!!! The devil is a lie! I refuse to let myself fall into the same trap. The devil think he can get me but disguising the same foolishness, covering it up with sweetness and a FORM of Godliness. #FAIL , I'm not going. Real talk, I bind these tricks of the enemy in Jesus name right now! I just got to get this forgiveness thing under wraps so I can receive all that God has for me. He spoke a word for me, and he word will not return unto him void. He's just waiting on me to LET IT GO! I need much prayer and help with this thing here."

Fear Not!

Challenge: Not to allow Fear to bind us! We don't really realize how much we allow fear to control us and a lot of time not allow us to fully put our trust in God. Personally I know I struggle with trusting God and my fear of failure and rejection. I'm always thinking so far in advance, "what if this doesn't work out?" "what if I don't do a good job?" instead of just standing on the word that the Lord already gave me. 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind." We allow the fact that we don't know exactly how the Lord is going work things out or when he is going to do it, to make us fearful about the process. But he doesn't work on our time table. He works in his own perfect timing. Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not unto thine own understand. In all thy ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct thy paths." Lets make up in our minds this year not to worry about things and not allow fear to consume us. Let's "seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all this this shall be added" Matt 6:33. If we learn to to put God first, like really, everything else will fall in place. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, not of evil, to give you an expected end."

"Change Your Attitude (Walk in Love)"

From THE BEST SEX OF MY LIFE: A GUIDE TO PURITY: 

"This is a great principle for all of the 'nasty' attitudes we posses, at times. I have experienced too many 'bad' attitudes. I simply got tired of having a bad attitude. Who wants to be mad, upset, tired, depressed, jealous, envious, frustrated and unhappy all the time? Not me! Hopefully, not you too! I really got tired of being jealous of someones else's clothes, shoes, jewelry, hair, or boyfriend. I got fed up with comparing myself to other people, and feeling like I had to compete with their accomplishments to prove that I was someone important. I got tired of rolling my eyes at other women, acting like I did not see them look my way. It requires too much effort to be 'nasty' toward someone who nine time out of ten, has gone on with their own lives and completely forgotten about why we are mistreating them in the first place. God is challenging us to repent, to apologize to people to stop holding grudges and to stop wearing out feelings on our sleeve. How can you achieve sexual purity with jealously, frustration, bitterness and anxiety in your heart? Impossible!

What is the solution? The solution is walking in love, according to 1 Corinthians 13. Examine verses 4 through 8. 

'Love suffers long and is patient and kind; love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...'

I had to change my attitude and learn to be truly patient and kind with people. After all, God has been patient with me even in the midst of my silliness, ignorance and stupidity.

I learned how to compliment someone else, on the shoes, jewelry makeup clothes, promotion, new house or car instead of being jealous of them. You too, must realize that everything God has for you has your name on it. It belongs to you. No one else can take what God Has promised you, so just relax! Stop being so anxious! Nobody is going to take you husband, and nobody is going get your wife, but you. My Pastor says, 'If it's God, it won't spoil.' Translation: if your relationship with a young man or young woman is a relationship that is born of God, and meant to be, it will be. One year from now, three years from now, or ten years from now...your relationship will not spoil. Be easy! No need for competition or comparison, fellas. And ladies, no for being 'catty', we are sisters in the Lord. Your destiny, dreams, and desires are tailor-made, just for you. We can be happy for others and put jealously, envy, competition, comparison and judgment aside, when we walk in love."

Write the Vision

Habakkuk 2:2-3 "And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision, make it plain upon tables, that he may run and readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it terry, wait on it; because it will surely come, it will not terry."

Why is it such a stigma about a single woman stating that she wants to be married? Why lie about it? I do agree that we should not go out looking and that she would not dwell and obsess about it because there is so much more to life than getting married. Plus you would appear desperate. You should also focus on the fulfilling the purpose has for you in your singleness. But you have not because you ask not! (James 4:2). 

You have to have a VISION, not just for a mate, but for any and everything you desire. Not only do you need to write the VISION and make it plain, but you need to speak it. (Psalm 45:1 and Proverbs 18:21).

So I am going to start it off. I'm going to write my VISION and make it plain.

The man GOD has for me:

Physical

·        Tall

·        Good looking

·        Kind of on the Husky/Built side (not little or skinny)

·        Well groomed

·        Nice lips

·        Nice teeth

·        Ambitious

·        Complements my accomplishments

·        Knows how to mange money

·        Business minded

·        Driven

·        Good sense of humor

·        Humble

·        Fun-loving

Spiritual

·        Saved, sanctified, baptized in the name of Jesus for the remission of sins, and showing the evidence of the Holy Ghost through tongues speaking.

·        Has a fruit bearing relationship with God

·        Complements me in the spirit

·        Tithe paying

·        Able to be the priest of my household.

Are you going to write your VISION and make it plain?