Thursday, May 17, 2012
Daily Pray of Love
Choose Love
Dear God, isn't it funny how much better I feel when I choose to love? And yet how many times in the course of my life have I chosen anger or hatred or fear? Let me always choose love first, for when I do make that choice, it opens up the door way to new friendships and joy that other choices cannot give me. Make love be not only my first choice but my only choice. Thank you, God, for choosing to love me.
Love powers all of creation, and when we choose to love,
we are creating a wonderful reality for ourselves and
those we care about. Let us then only create miracles
and blessings. If we have the choice why choose anything but love?
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
My Transparency and Ramblings
I have a confession, the past couple of days I have not been happy and have been far away from God. Although to others it may not have seemed as thought I have physically done anything that we as humans would consider a sin, I have not been operating in the will. This began when all the post about graduation when up on Facebook, and a sense of shame and depression came over me. Then I begin to think about the fact that I feel alone. I have noticed that it seems as though I have been isolated. I notice that I'm the one always calling people to see how there are and it's rare that my phone rings just to have a convo with some who just wants to see how my day is going. I see post about outtings that I wasn't invited to and yes I get bumbed out about it. And for me it's like a domino effect. Once I feel down about one thing, everything that i'm hurt by or ashamed about surfaces. And those are triggers that causing me to fall back into old habbits, which in turn triggers me be ashamed of my current actions, and the fact that I'm disappointing my Father. Here is were I am:
These are all half trues that I allow the enemy to get me down about (emphases on that fact that I allow it, we need to take responsible for thing that we do to ourselves and stop blaming every thing on the devil, he has no power, but what we give him. We have power and dominion over him). Now here is what is true. I did not leave school because I flunked out. I had made bad financial decisions years ago that caused a domino effect of things to occurs which brought me to a point of owing some money in order for me to register for my last semester of school. It wasn't a huge amount of money, but I didn't have it to pay at the time. I asked my parents to help me. They came up with the money but we had a emergency situation back home which cause my parent to have to use the money that we can up with. As I scrambled to come up the money, I ask the Lord to have his way anyhow. Needless to say, we never came up with the money. So I said "ok Lord, I guess this means that you want me to go ahead and go to hair school now, instead of waiting until after I graduate like I had planned." So I when ahead and enrolled at the school down in Bloomington. Well, things weren't working out for me to be able to live in Bloomington and go to school there, so I was forced to come home. The Lord later revealed, that he need to remove me from my surroundings because it was more of a hindering for me spiritually.
Now the devil likes to whisper things to me like "Your just a failure. You don't have anything going for yourself. See, people who started school years after you have graduated. You can't find a job making over $1000 a month because you don't have a degree. I thought your God was going to take care of you. You were doing better before. You had your own place, you were independent, and that was what was attractive about you. You at least had someone to hold you at night. Look at you now, you live with your mother, your alone, people are distancing themselves from you, you might as well go back to how you were, you will feel more vaildated." LIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Reality:
He has to remove some people to make room for the ones who he is placing around me that are going to bless me and provide an edifying friendship/relationship. It's ok though, because everyone can't go with you. Although, things may not be happening in my time table or for that matter on the time table other may think that it is should, it's happening in HIS perfect time. He is the author of time. I have nothing to worry about because all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord. You know what, God has made me some promises and as long I walk up rightly before Him, He has to do what HE said that He was going to do.
The devil's job is to distract us, and he does this by feeding us a word that is contray to what God said. And some times we can be foolish and believe what the devil says verses what God says b/c we are too busy concentrating on what we see now and not on what God is preparing for us. For example, people like to ask me this question: "what if the Lord wants you to be by yourself forever?" That's fine, but that's not what he has for me. How do I know, (#1) prophecy is suppose to confirm what God has already told you. God already gave me a word and it wasn't that I was going to be alone forever. He is preparing me. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it not in the works. I asked God to reveal what he has for me and he did, and I was like "really, God??? I can't see that but ok, prepare me for it". (And he made it plain, but you can't always tell every one all the detail because not everyone is for you. But what God has for you is for you) Now how long it takes is base on how long it takes for me to fulfill my purpose in my singleness. And honestly as much as I would LOVE to be married, heck in a relationship for that matter, I'm not ready yet. He said that he would give me the desires of my heart, and it is my desire that when get married that I be financially sound on my own and at this point I'm not there. I desire a man to compliment me not complete me, so for me I need to have my own first. I don't desire to jump from my mother taking care of me to my husband taking care of me. And too, I know the role the of a wife and I don't fully have that down pat yet. I'm still in training. And on the relationship tip, I have not been APPROACHED by a GODLY man yet. (How can two walk together unless they agree) I can be honest and say yes, I struggle with lust (who doesn't) and if I'm with someone who doesn't desire to live Godly then that is a set up for disaster. (Learned that the hard way)
Ok, enough with all my ramblings. Moral of the story is: keep your eye on what God has promised, keep pressing toward the mark of the high calling. Yes, you are going to have your days but don't get stuck in Lo Debar, GET UP FROM THERE AND KEEP IT MOVING!!! Most importantly don't allow the enemy to distract you by feeding you a word contrary from THE WORD. I'm-ma keep pressing, and I hope you do too. Pray for me and I'm going to pray for you all. LOVE YOU ALL!
This blessed me today and inspired to to actually share my struggle:
http://
By Nina at allthingsnina.blogspot.com. Check her out and support her!
- I am very lonely
- I have not forgiven myself for the things I have done in the past and very ashame of who I was
- I am upset with myself that I have not accomplished what I set to accomplished at this age
- I am fearfully of hitting 30 without being married and having a child.
These are all half trues that I allow the enemy to get me down about (emphases on that fact that I allow it, we need to take responsible for thing that we do to ourselves and stop blaming every thing on the devil, he has no power, but what we give him. We have power and dominion over him). Now here is what is true. I did not leave school because I flunked out. I had made bad financial decisions years ago that caused a domino effect of things to occurs which brought me to a point of owing some money in order for me to register for my last semester of school. It wasn't a huge amount of money, but I didn't have it to pay at the time. I asked my parents to help me. They came up with the money but we had a emergency situation back home which cause my parent to have to use the money that we can up with. As I scrambled to come up the money, I ask the Lord to have his way anyhow. Needless to say, we never came up with the money. So I said "ok Lord, I guess this means that you want me to go ahead and go to hair school now, instead of waiting until after I graduate like I had planned." So I when ahead and enrolled at the school down in Bloomington. Well, things weren't working out for me to be able to live in Bloomington and go to school there, so I was forced to come home. The Lord later revealed, that he need to remove me from my surroundings because it was more of a hindering for me spiritually.
Now the devil likes to whisper things to me like "Your just a failure. You don't have anything going for yourself. See, people who started school years after you have graduated. You can't find a job making over $1000 a month because you don't have a degree. I thought your God was going to take care of you. You were doing better before. You had your own place, you were independent, and that was what was attractive about you. You at least had someone to hold you at night. Look at you now, you live with your mother, your alone, people are distancing themselves from you, you might as well go back to how you were, you will feel more vaildated." LIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Reality:
- All of my needs have been met.
- I am still in school.
- I have been blessed with a new car that is way better than the one I had before.
- Although I haven't had a car in 3 cars I can count on 1 hand how many times I have had to catch the bus.
- I just placed 4th out 21 competitiors in a national hair competition.
- For the 10 months I have been unemployed I can count on one hand how many times I have been literally without ANY money.
- I just went from being close to being fired from my job to just offered a promotion.
- The reason people are disappearing from my life, I asked God to remove people who are not edifying my walk with HIM.
He has to remove some people to make room for the ones who he is placing around me that are going to bless me and provide an edifying friendship/relationship. It's ok though, because everyone can't go with you. Although, things may not be happening in my time table or for that matter on the time table other may think that it is should, it's happening in HIS perfect time. He is the author of time. I have nothing to worry about because all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord. You know what, God has made me some promises and as long I walk up rightly before Him, He has to do what HE said that He was going to do.
The devil's job is to distract us, and he does this by feeding us a word that is contray to what God said. And some times we can be foolish and believe what the devil says verses what God says b/c we are too busy concentrating on what we see now and not on what God is preparing for us. For example, people like to ask me this question: "what if the Lord wants you to be by yourself forever?" That's fine, but that's not what he has for me. How do I know, (#1) prophecy is suppose to confirm what God has already told you. God already gave me a word and it wasn't that I was going to be alone forever. He is preparing me. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it not in the works. I asked God to reveal what he has for me and he did, and I was like "really, God??? I can't see that but ok, prepare me for it". (And he made it plain, but you can't always tell every one all the detail because not everyone is for you. But what God has for you is for you) Now how long it takes is base on how long it takes for me to fulfill my purpose in my singleness. And honestly as much as I would LOVE to be married, heck in a relationship for that matter, I'm not ready yet. He said that he would give me the desires of my heart, and it is my desire that when get married that I be financially sound on my own and at this point I'm not there. I desire a man to compliment me not complete me, so for me I need to have my own first. I don't desire to jump from my mother taking care of me to my husband taking care of me. And too, I know the role the of a wife and I don't fully have that down pat yet. I'm still in training. And on the relationship tip, I have not been APPROACHED by a GODLY man yet. (How can two walk together unless they agree) I can be honest and say yes, I struggle with lust (who doesn't) and if I'm with someone who doesn't desire to live Godly then that is a set up for disaster. (Learned that the hard way)
Ok, enough with all my ramblings. Moral of the story is: keep your eye on what God has promised, keep pressing toward the mark of the high calling. Yes, you are going to have your days but don't get stuck in Lo Debar, GET UP FROM THERE AND KEEP IT MOVING!!! Most importantly don't allow the enemy to distract you by feeding you a word contrary from THE WORD. I'm-ma keep pressing, and I hope you do too. Pray for me and I'm going to pray for you all. LOVE YOU ALL!
This blessed me today and inspired to to actually share my struggle:
http://
By Nina at allthingsnina.blogspot.com. Check her out and support her!
Daily Prayer of Love
Worthy of Love
Not everyone has the special family that I have, nor do they have the extra opportunities to open their hearts in the way my family does. We are not limited by what the neighbors think nor by society's current popular prejudices. We are far more than that. We are a family that come from love and we accept with pride every unique member. We are all special, and we are all worthy of love. I love and accept each member of my wonderful family, and they in turn love and adore me...We are save and all is well in order world.
- Louise L. Hay
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
-Sir John Bowring
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Daily pray of Love
Loving Those Who Hurt Us
Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and relents from punishing.
Joel 2:13
Lord, this really hurts. My Heart is broken and my faith in love has been shattered. Help me find my way back to wholeness with in. I know that one day I will love again. but right now, I am angry and lost. I know that learning to forgive the one who hurt me is the fastest path to new love, but right now I need all the help I can get just to keep my chin up and my head held high. Help me heal my heart and find it even stronger than before. Help me to one day get to the point where I can forgive, find the lesson in all of this, and move on. Help me show compassion to myself and to the one who caused me this pain. Help me, Lord.
Love isn't always easy to give, but the
giving is always worth it.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
The Most Dangerous Part of your Body
On a recent trip to Detroit with my youth department, I shared a room with my mother, her friend (who happens to be my spiritual mentor), and my Soror, we were sharing funny stories, experiences, and reactions to things that were happening during the conference that we were attending. We were talking about how I can viewed as stand-off-ish or unfriendly at times, which is completely untrue if you are close to me. I'm just cautious as to who allow close to me. (Love everyone, but its not like im clambering for friends, I'll speak and laugh and talk but I don't sit down and have dinner, and just invite everyone into my personal area, that would be foolish) But any way, mother asked the question "can you tell that Brittany use to talk a lot? I use to get calls from the teacher because she couldn't shut her mouth in class". The others shook their heads no and kinda laughed in shock and disbelief.
Well yes it's true I did have this problem, and I had gotten better, due to maturing and life experiences made me more of an introvert, but I do still have my moment of struggle with speaking. Beside the fact that when I'm sleepy I get either (1) extremely cranky or (2) extremely talkative and silly, the Lord had been dealing with me about running to other with my problem rather than coming to Him.
For the sake of transparency, I had a problem with drinking, and I drake to deal w/ my issues, (well clearly that's not good and a drunkenness is a sin), after I got saved, I stopped getting drunk to deal w/ or numb my issues, and I began to talk about things. While that's good, you don't have to tell people everything. There are somethings that you need to just take to God in prayer.
Another issue of the mouth, that, Yes I HAVE, is timing. My spiritual mentor always quotes "Everything that is lawful is not expedient" (1 Corinthians 6:12). Which means, you may be right in what you are saying but that may have not been the time to say it. In the past few weeks the Lord has been trying to bring my issue w/ this to my attention, and it came fully to my attention the other day and a meeting between my pastor and the youth, were he allowed us to tell him how we were feeling. In and attempt to a clean up a major "omg did she really say that moment" that a fellow youth just had I found myself in the same position. What I meant to say didn't fully come out instead it sounded out of order. Yes, everything I said was in fact true but was completely out of order. And I felt it after it came out that I had stuck my foot in my mouth and there was no cleaning it up. And believe me the Lord got me for it.
Sometimes somethings I say come out sounding judgmental. Which is not my intention. The bible tells us that yes we should correct our brother and sister in love. Now me personally it really grinds my gears when people that profess to be "saved, sanctified, and baptized in the name of Jesus, and fulled with the precious gift of the Holy Ghost" make excuses for what they do. My thing is if you are wrong, say your wrong, and don't lean on that fact that we serve a forgiving God as licence to do what ever you want and hide under the cop out of "He knows my heart". Yes, He does but how many time you gone keep doing the same thing before you realize that you have humble your self, pray and TURN from your wicked ways? Like really if someone cheats on you, sayings they are sorry but keeps purposefully doing it would you believe that they were truly sorry? But I digress; now when I give correction and accountability to those who asked me to, the words I use can come off too harsh and judgmental sounding and that's because I get passionate about what I'm saying. So I have to now be slow to speak and ask the Lord to guide my speech so that it is Him speaking and not me and my flesh. He says "with love and kindness have I drawn you". So we want to do the same. So if I have offend anyone personally, I do whole-heartily apologize, that was not my attention.
I'm learning to use wisdom when I speak, and not to speak out of order. Although, I may be right, there is a time and a place for everything.
There is a part two to this because this topic is deeper than most would think. Hey, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I need to study the power of words, and it plays a big role in being the women that God has called us to be. So part two coming soon as I run off to class. LOVE YOU ALL!
Well yes it's true I did have this problem, and I had gotten better, due to maturing and life experiences made me more of an introvert, but I do still have my moment of struggle with speaking. Beside the fact that when I'm sleepy I get either (1) extremely cranky or (2) extremely talkative and silly, the Lord had been dealing with me about running to other with my problem rather than coming to Him.
For the sake of transparency, I had a problem with drinking, and I drake to deal w/ my issues, (well clearly that's not good and a drunkenness is a sin), after I got saved, I stopped getting drunk to deal w/ or numb my issues, and I began to talk about things. While that's good, you don't have to tell people everything. There are somethings that you need to just take to God in prayer.
Another issue of the mouth, that, Yes I HAVE, is timing. My spiritual mentor always quotes "Everything that is lawful is not expedient" (1 Corinthians 6:12). Which means, you may be right in what you are saying but that may have not been the time to say it. In the past few weeks the Lord has been trying to bring my issue w/ this to my attention, and it came fully to my attention the other day and a meeting between my pastor and the youth, were he allowed us to tell him how we were feeling. In and attempt to a clean up a major "omg did she really say that moment" that a fellow youth just had I found myself in the same position. What I meant to say didn't fully come out instead it sounded out of order. Yes, everything I said was in fact true but was completely out of order. And I felt it after it came out that I had stuck my foot in my mouth and there was no cleaning it up. And believe me the Lord got me for it.
Sometimes somethings I say come out sounding judgmental. Which is not my intention. The bible tells us that yes we should correct our brother and sister in love. Now me personally it really grinds my gears when people that profess to be "saved, sanctified, and baptized in the name of Jesus, and fulled with the precious gift of the Holy Ghost" make excuses for what they do. My thing is if you are wrong, say your wrong, and don't lean on that fact that we serve a forgiving God as licence to do what ever you want and hide under the cop out of "He knows my heart". Yes, He does but how many time you gone keep doing the same thing before you realize that you have humble your self, pray and TURN from your wicked ways? Like really if someone cheats on you, sayings they are sorry but keeps purposefully doing it would you believe that they were truly sorry? But I digress; now when I give correction and accountability to those who asked me to, the words I use can come off too harsh and judgmental sounding and that's because I get passionate about what I'm saying. So I have to now be slow to speak and ask the Lord to guide my speech so that it is Him speaking and not me and my flesh. He says "with love and kindness have I drawn you". So we want to do the same. So if I have offend anyone personally, I do whole-heartily apologize, that was not my attention.
I'm learning to use wisdom when I speak, and not to speak out of order. Although, I may be right, there is a time and a place for everything.
There is a part two to this because this topic is deeper than most would think. Hey, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I need to study the power of words, and it plays a big role in being the women that God has called us to be. So part two coming soon as I run off to class. LOVE YOU ALL!
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