Spiritual Autonomy

My whole life, growing up in church, I've been told not to date someone who wasn't saved. As a kid I thought that was completely ridiculous, because really, there was no one in the church who was truly saved and single (in my age bracket at least), so what just be by myself forever??? NEGATIVE. It wasn't until I was older and tried by the fire so to speak, before I realized how important it was for my partner to have their own walk with God. 

It is important that the person you are dating has spiritual autonomy for the relationship to be successful.  "That is, he has his own walk with God that he pursues on a regular basis, regardless of his circumstances. Spiritual autonomy ensures that he does not look to you to provide his religious direction or motivation." [Boundaries in Dating: Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend] 

You need a person who can go to God for themselves! We, as women, need a sense of security in a relationship: physically and spiritually.  I need to know that in the time of trouble, my mate can go into spiritual warfare for us and our family. [Ecclesiastes 4:10] No one is perfect, so at some point we all fall; in a relationship your mate needs to be able to challenge you and encourage you to pick yourself up, and not to further hinder to you spiritually.  A good question to ask is: does the person your with bring out the best in you or the worst? And this not something that you put off bringing up until marriage: courtship is practice for marriage. These are the stages were you find out of the person you are dating is marriage material. 

If you find yourself continuously attracting unbelievers, and wanting to pursue something with them, you may want to take a look at yourself. "If something is broken inside, you will tend to find yourself drawn to unhealthy or absent spiritually [relationships]". This is something that, I myself experienced. I noticed that as my faith was failing, I was entertaining relationships what were spiritually dead. It wasn't until I renewed my faith in God, and trusted him fully; closing the door completely on the past and not looking back like Lot's wife, that I was able to walk into the blessing that God had tailor-made just for me. That's not just with dating, that with everything. You can't fix everything yourself. When you standstill and let God be God in your life is when he will show up and show out.

That's a whole other topic in and of it's self, but back to the point I was making, the bible says "how can two walk together less they agree?" Take it from me, holding a serious relationship with someone who doesn't know God for himself is a disaster waiting to happen. If you are saying "well there is no saved guys out there who aren't taken already", God has finely crafted someone just for you and he is preparing you and him for each other. Why would you want God to give you something that you are ready for? Just to mistreat it? NEGATIVE. A lot of time we are our on worst enemy in this area. If we would just stand still; know that God is God; be quick to listen and slow to speak, we could hear God and allow him to move in our lives. 

I'm pretty sure I've spoken on this topic before, but it was placed on my heart today, and I hope it blesses someone. 

My Big News

So in a previous post I stated that I had big news that I was going to share with you all; now I am ready to do just that. For those who know me personally, this is no news, but to everyone else, as of February 15, 2013, I started a new relationship with an awesome man of God by the name of Mr. Derrick Glenn.

Yes that's right, I've been sweep off my feet. And I will admit, it caught me completely off guard, because at the time that we met, I had completely given up on seriously dating. I was hanging out with other guys just for the sake of having something to do.

How we met: My best friend had began dating this guy, and they were getting really serious. He lived down state, so she would go down and visit. At that time, I was going back and forth with two guys from my past; casually going out from time to time. But in my mind knew nothing would come from either one, because neither one were saved, so we were just hanging out.

My best friend really didn't care for the guys I was seeing, so one night she was telling me about her boyfriend's best friend and how we had soooooo much in common. Some things that was in fact creepy, like that fact that we both have twin brothers named Devan and Devon (spelled differently) who are 18 and graduating from high school this year. I told her, very nonchalantly, that I didn't mind meeting him. So about a month later her boyfriend and his best friend were in town for the Thanksgiving holiday visiting family. On Black Friend my best friend and her boyfriend had this bright idea that we should met. So me and my best friend met up with the guys at IHOP. Well apparently Derrick didn't know that this was an attempt to match us together, so he was completely taken off guard. 

I will admit it wasn't love at first sight for me, but I had a great time. In the mist of play the crane game at Brunswick Zone, I thought to myself "Hey he seems pretty cool"; I was open to learning more about him. Shortly after I made it home I had a message in my Facebook inbox from Mr. Glenn asking for my number. After a few months of small talk on the phone and through text, one night things just took off and it was a love that I had never known before! I was completely swept off my feet, head over heels and I could do nothing but thank God for the awesome thing He had done! It was so refreshing to experience the type of love the bible spoke of; for a man to love me as God loves the church.

I honestly thought I would never feel this way about someone again. But now, experiencing what I am experiencing with this man, all of the other "great loves" in my life pale in comparison. This is the only relationship I have had were God is truly the center. This type of relationship  is something completely new to me and is taking some getting use to, but I appreciate the patients he has with me, and I thank God that he has healed me from the past and gave me to grace to allow this man to love me for me truly. I am really happy, and I am glad to share my happiness with you, my loves!

Let the Hormone Fest Begin...

So a friend of mine encouraged me to write more often, not that I necessarily had to have a profound theological thesis every time I posted, but just write about how I'm feeling at that moment. So this is my go at it. As a took a day off from school, work, and planning, I found myself in the mist of a down right hormone fest. Yes, I woke up to feeling like the epitome of a girl today. I just wanted to cook, sit on the couch, and have a Sex and the City marathon with a half glass of wine. And that's exactly what I did. It's just something about the fact that it's about 5 degrees outside that makes me emotional and lazy all at the same time. But then I realize that I have to get up and make my way to the salon in the mist of Sex and the City 2. So I'm peeling myself off of the couch to make my appointment. I just wanted to check in with my loves and say, yes I've been bitten by the emotional/cuddle weather bug. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Lol. I hope you all are having a blessed day. Happy Friday! :-) 

Redemption and Joy

So much has occurred in my time away. I honestly didn't want to write unless I sincerely had something to say. I view my time away as a very defining time of reflection and change, which is what life is all about. I don't take this platform lightly at all because I have realized through my "venting" about my life as a single saved young woman, someone else is being blessed through my testimony. I didn't believe that I could really give any encouragement in the state that I was in, and I didn't want to be a stumbling block for anyone else who may come across this blog. But now I have past through my test, I feel freedom in the Lord to share my experience. 

So what's been up with me?

Since my last post, I lost my job, which was not something that I was too devastated over, because I didn't enjoy it and I figured this would allow me time to get school finished and actually do something I enjoy; hair. Now I did feel the decline in my pockets, but I will say that the Lord has provided. I may not have overflow, but my needs have been met. 

I did lose weight; about 15 pounds. That was a good thing and a bad thing. Great because, yeah, I needed to lose some weight and bad because with the boost of confidence, came me feeling myself a little too much. Now this may sound a tab bit confusing but, with me "feeling myself too much", the insecurities that I have battled with the majority of my life, reared their ugly head again. Although on the surface, I felt great about myself, in the back of my mind I had reverted to the old me, the girl who felt like she needed validation and attention from a man to feel good about  her self. The compliments I was getting on how I looked, just made me crave more attention, to the point I would entertain foolishness for sake of not being alone. Dating people who are clearly not equally yoked  just for the sake of having something to do on a Friday night. 

"One week without prayer, will make one weak."

I continued with it under the gist of "oh, I'm just chilling with them", until one day I had the realization that I was slowly killing myself spiritually.  I was going so far in God up until that point, that it literally scared me. Things that were easy for me to fight off in the spirit became this knock out, drag down fight. I told my best friend one day, "this is not me! I don't know what's happening to me. I feel like I'm fighting for my life....[spiritually]". It was like, the closer I got to God, the more I had to fight. That's how the enemy works, when he see that you are realizing your purpose in the Kingdom, he will do all he can to prohibit it. Because I wasn't working, I was so caught up in getting my "hustle on", doing hair in the shop, school, and trying to maintain some sort of a social life, that I wasn't taking the time to pray and read my word. One of my frat brothers said it best on his Facebook status, "one week without prayer, will make one weak". If that ain't the truest thing I've heard!

Loneliness set in. I settled; found myself in positions that were not right; falling back into old habits  I was seeing a guy who did me kinda bogus. It was minuet compared to past relationships, but the traits he were exhibiting and the way his actions made me feel were way too reminiscent to a past relationship that left me the most emotionally damaged. And I will admit this, God will bring you clarity in the mist of your own foolishness, it wasn't until I slipped up and had too many drinks (yes, I will admit, I did fall), with a close friend, venting about this guy, that she ministered directly to me, she said "Brittany, God can not bless you with the man that He has for you if you still have foolish, nothing negros standing in the way." I was blown away!!! She was sooooo right! How can the Lord bless you when you have something or someone stand in proxy?

As New Year's approached  I began to make declarations. I knew that if all hell was breaking loose in my life like it was, that I had to be on the brink of something great! I started to remind the Lord of the promises that he had made to me. I started to claim victory in my life. As of the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, this may sound cliche but it's the truth, I shut the door on somethings, and some people and told the Lord, I was going to trust Him fully. I only want what he has for me. I prayed that he guide my footsteps. And that's just what he did! I literally felt a shift in my spirit and I declare I am not the same person. God has showed up and showed out in my life to the point that sometimes it's overwhelming that God loves me sooo much that he answered my prayers to the "T"! My life is filled with so much joy that it's busting at the seams. I know you're waiting for me to testify and tell exactly what the Lord has done, as the suspense builds, I will but not in this post. I am not exactly ready to reveal that yet, but I will say it's the Lord doing and it's marvelous in my eyes!

My big reveal is coming soon! So stay tuned! 

I just want to encourage everyone to stay steadfast and trust God. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is right there with you in the fire! Stay prayerful loves!

Scripture of Meditiation

Philippians 1:6 NKJV

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

Weight Watcher's: Middle of Week 1

I joined WW last Friday with the intention to start that day. Well i followed it that day but then I had the wedding the rest of the weekend and well......that was a #EPICFAIL lol. But hey, it happens, so I just stared fresh Monday and well I have been doing well with my points. I am currently 215 lbs. (yes, i admitted it) and they recommended me to get down to like 130.....yea.............., I'm not trying to be skinny. Actually I think I look funny looking if i'm too small. I would at lest like to get down to 160, which is what I was my senior year of high school or even junior year, I think I was in a size 11.

2006-Senior Year

2004-Junior Year

(ultimate goal for me)

Now.....

Well it's best to set smaller short term goals to reach before the ultimate one. So for now, here's the goal for the next couple months.....

so, wish me luck!!!!

No, I Have Not Fallen Off The Face of The Earth

I have been sooooooooo M.I.A. not just from ABRM, but other aspects of my life, but life has been hitting me with every punch, with family deaths, going to the hospital with other family members, weddings, family finances in a tizzy all the while trying to focus on school, sharpen my skills and steady on my hustle.

This season has truly been a transitional one! It seemed as though the more I tried to live for the Lord, the more hell broke loose. Just keeping my mind was a struggle. But now that some things have subsided I am taking my life back. But not all has been bad. My home-girl, Tanisha got married, this past Sunday (yay!!!!!), with that I had my first opportunity to add to my resume/portfolio my first wedding. I did the make up and hair for all 7 girls which included myself and the bride.

I have also decided to terminate some friendship that were not edifying and I joined weight watcher's, which I am really excited about. 

The Lord has made me some promise, that are starting to come to past, I asked him to prepare to receive all that he has for me, so that includes me being my best me. So I ready for the shift and ready to get it in on this weight loss. And yes I will keep you up to date!