Spiritual Autonomy

My whole life, growing up in church, I've been told not to date someone who wasn't saved. As a kid I thought that was completely ridiculous, because really, there was no one in the church who was truly saved and single (in my age bracket at least), so what just be by myself forever??? NEGATIVE. It wasn't until I was older and tried by the fire so to speak, before I realized how important it was for my partner to have their own walk with God. 

It is important that the person you are dating has spiritual autonomy for the relationship to be successful.  "That is, he has his own walk with God that he pursues on a regular basis, regardless of his circumstances. Spiritual autonomy ensures that he does not look to you to provide his religious direction or motivation." [Boundaries in Dating: Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend] 

You need a person who can go to God for themselves! We, as women, need a sense of security in a relationship: physically and spiritually.  I need to know that in the time of trouble, my mate can go into spiritual warfare for us and our family. [Ecclesiastes 4:10] No one is perfect, so at some point we all fall; in a relationship your mate needs to be able to challenge you and encourage you to pick yourself up, and not to further hinder to you spiritually.  A good question to ask is: does the person your with bring out the best in you or the worst? And this not something that you put off bringing up until marriage: courtship is practice for marriage. These are the stages were you find out of the person you are dating is marriage material. 

If you find yourself continuously attracting unbelievers, and wanting to pursue something with them, you may want to take a look at yourself. "If something is broken inside, you will tend to find yourself drawn to unhealthy or absent spiritually [relationships]". This is something that, I myself experienced. I noticed that as my faith was failing, I was entertaining relationships what were spiritually dead. It wasn't until I renewed my faith in God, and trusted him fully; closing the door completely on the past and not looking back like Lot's wife, that I was able to walk into the blessing that God had tailor-made just for me. That's not just with dating, that with everything. You can't fix everything yourself. When you standstill and let God be God in your life is when he will show up and show out.

That's a whole other topic in and of it's self, but back to the point I was making, the bible says "how can two walk together less they agree?" Take it from me, holding a serious relationship with someone who doesn't know God for himself is a disaster waiting to happen. If you are saying "well there is no saved guys out there who aren't taken already", God has finely crafted someone just for you and he is preparing you and him for each other. Why would you want God to give you something that you are ready for? Just to mistreat it? NEGATIVE. A lot of time we are our on worst enemy in this area. If we would just stand still; know that God is God; be quick to listen and slow to speak, we could hear God and allow him to move in our lives. 

I'm pretty sure I've spoken on this topic before, but it was placed on my heart today, and I hope it blesses someone.