Spiritual Autonomy

My whole life, growing up in church, I've been told not to date someone who wasn't saved. As a kid I thought that was completely ridiculous, because really, there was no one in the church who was truly saved and single (in my age bracket at least), so what just be by myself forever??? NEGATIVE. It wasn't until I was older and tried by the fire so to speak, before I realized how important it was for my partner to have their own walk with God. 

It is important that the person you are dating has spiritual autonomy for the relationship to be successful.  "That is, he has his own walk with God that he pursues on a regular basis, regardless of his circumstances. Spiritual autonomy ensures that he does not look to you to provide his religious direction or motivation." [Boundaries in Dating: Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend] 

You need a person who can go to God for themselves! We, as women, need a sense of security in a relationship: physically and spiritually.  I need to know that in the time of trouble, my mate can go into spiritual warfare for us and our family. [Ecclesiastes 4:10] No one is perfect, so at some point we all fall; in a relationship your mate needs to be able to challenge you and encourage you to pick yourself up, and not to further hinder to you spiritually.  A good question to ask is: does the person your with bring out the best in you or the worst? And this not something that you put off bringing up until marriage: courtship is practice for marriage. These are the stages were you find out of the person you are dating is marriage material. 

If you find yourself continuously attracting unbelievers, and wanting to pursue something with them, you may want to take a look at yourself. "If something is broken inside, you will tend to find yourself drawn to unhealthy or absent spiritually [relationships]". This is something that, I myself experienced. I noticed that as my faith was failing, I was entertaining relationships what were spiritually dead. It wasn't until I renewed my faith in God, and trusted him fully; closing the door completely on the past and not looking back like Lot's wife, that I was able to walk into the blessing that God had tailor-made just for me. That's not just with dating, that with everything. You can't fix everything yourself. When you standstill and let God be God in your life is when he will show up and show out.

That's a whole other topic in and of it's self, but back to the point I was making, the bible says "how can two walk together less they agree?" Take it from me, holding a serious relationship with someone who doesn't know God for himself is a disaster waiting to happen. If you are saying "well there is no saved guys out there who aren't taken already", God has finely crafted someone just for you and he is preparing you and him for each other. Why would you want God to give you something that you are ready for? Just to mistreat it? NEGATIVE. A lot of time we are our on worst enemy in this area. If we would just stand still; know that God is God; be quick to listen and slow to speak, we could hear God and allow him to move in our lives. 

I'm pretty sure I've spoken on this topic before, but it was placed on my heart today, and I hope it blesses someone. 

Happy Thursday!

"I Love Their Love": Spotlight on Warryn and Erica Campbell

 You all know that I am HUGE Mary Mary Fan. And I admire the Godly marriages they have. I consider them something to look up to. Sooooooo look-ey what I found: Warryn and Erica's wedding on TLC's A Wedding Story! I know how I missed this because I use to be addicted to that show. 

 

AWWWWW I love their LOVE!

and look at them now!

I thought it was sooooo cute that she sang the same song to him on their "Baby-Moon" that she did on their wedding day. Oh on day the Lord is going to bless me with MY OWN bond like that, and it's going to be the best thing in the world because God would have created it just for me! 

Feature: A Lesson from A Celeb Marriage- Teddy and Tina Campbell

I am a HUGE fan of Mary Mary on WeTV. I love the way they represent Christians in this day in age and relationships. They keep it real, and they are transparent. In the second episode of the season, that was a convo between Tina and her hubby Teddy about her appearance. Yes, when she is in "Mary Mode", Tina is all doll-ed up, with the hair, make-up and dress, but on the everyday tip, she's plain and comfortable, which how I feel most of us women are (especially me). This is a realistic and very relevant topic of convo that should be discussed. Do we as women get too lazy and too comfortable when it comes to appearances?

"When I'm home and I go into a Tina space, I'm Tina. I'm Teddy's wife, I'm these kids' momma, I'm her; don't look for Mary. It's a lot of work to be ON; ready for the camera. I can't be ON all the time; it's too much work "

"This is the man that I intend to spending the rest of my life with. He can't tell me there's something he wants, something he needs, something that makes him happy and I'mma disregard it. That is what we call a fool. Why would I do that? How I'mma keep him if he ain't happy"





When this episode aired, I had a convo with my mom, (it's kinda funny because my mother is kinda on the low, trying to groom me for marriage, and she has starting PLANNING MY WEDDING! It's quite funny because I'm not even dating...so I kinda laugh it off, but I do take what she says to heart because it's wisdom) but she was saying that it's important that you keep your appearances up. Now any one who knows me, know that I LOVE fashion! But I can admit that I do get lazy with it at times especially during the week, mainly because I do work from home, right after work, I'm heading to school, where I have to wear a uniform, and I rarely go anywhere until the weekend, and more than likely it's church and I do get GAWGEOUS  for the Lord. But, yes I can do more.


A couple of weeks ago my clinic for teacher (who is a male) joked that if I stepped it up I would more than likely get asked out more. I didn't too much offense because to know Mr. Ed you know that he cracks on everyone. But it was food for thought. I can remember recently running into a guy that I am interested in and I wasn't to the nines. I wasn't bummy but I wasn't looking my best and I feeling a little embarrassed because I could have looked better. So I'm going to challenge myself to step it up. Keeping my hair flawless even through the week, working to get my skin back together, actually ironing (lol somehow I got out of that habit in college with all the hustle and rushing) even if that mean getting up earlier.  A lot more can be discussed on this topic so I'm going to try my best to remember to do a part two to this.




Do you think you could step it up a little more?

Ready or Not?

This poem was really piecing and convicting! What are your thoughts?

 

Write the Vision

Habakkuk 2:2-3 "And the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision, make it plain upon tables, that he may run and readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it terry, wait on it; because it will surely come, it will not terry."

Why is it such a stigma about a single woman stating that she wants to be married? Why lie about it? I do agree that we should not go out looking and that she would not dwell and obsess about it because there is so much more to life than getting married. Plus you would appear desperate. You should also focus on the fulfilling the purpose has for you in your singleness. But you have not because you ask not! (James 4:2). 

You have to have a VISION, not just for a mate, but for any and everything you desire. Not only do you need to write the VISION and make it plain, but you need to speak it. (Psalm 45:1 and Proverbs 18:21).

So I am going to start it off. I'm going to write my VISION and make it plain.

The man GOD has for me:

Physical

·        Tall

·        Good looking

·        Kind of on the Husky/Built side (not little or skinny)

·        Well groomed

·        Nice lips

·        Nice teeth

·        Ambitious

·        Complements my accomplishments

·        Knows how to mange money

·        Business minded

·        Driven

·        Good sense of humor

·        Humble

·        Fun-loving

Spiritual

·        Saved, sanctified, baptized in the name of Jesus for the remission of sins, and showing the evidence of the Holy Ghost through tongues speaking.

·        Has a fruit bearing relationship with God

·        Complements me in the spirit

·        Tithe paying

·        Able to be the priest of my household.

Are you going to write your VISION and make it plain?