Philippians 1:6 NKJV
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Weight Watcher's: Middle of Week 1
I joined WW last Friday with the intention to start that day. Well i followed it that day but then I had the wedding the rest of the weekend and well......that was a #EPICFAIL lol. But hey, it happens, so I just stared fresh Monday and well I have been doing well with my points. I am currently 215 lbs. (yes, i admitted it) and they recommended me to get down to like 130.....yea.............., I'm not trying to be skinny. Actually I think I look funny looking if i'm too small. I would at lest like to get down to 160, which is what I was my senior year of high school or even junior year, I think I was in a size 11.
2006-Senior Year
2004-Junior Year
(ultimate goal for me)
Now.....
Well it's best to set smaller short term goals to reach before the ultimate one. So for now, here's the goal for the next couple months.....
so, wish me luck!!!!
No, I Have Not Fallen Off The Face of The Earth
I have been sooooooooo M.I.A. not just from ABRM, but other aspects of my life, but life has been hitting me with every punch, with family deaths, going to the hospital with other family members, weddings, family finances in a tizzy all the while trying to focus on school, sharpen my skills and steady on my hustle.
This season has truly been a transitional one! It seemed as though the more I tried to live for the Lord, the more hell broke loose. Just keeping my mind was a struggle. But now that some things have subsided I am taking my life back. But not all has been bad. My home-girl, Tanisha got married, this past Sunday (yay!!!!!), with that I had my first opportunity to add to my resume/portfolio my first wedding. I did the make up and hair for all 7 girls which included myself and the bride.
This season has truly been a transitional one! It seemed as though the more I tried to live for the Lord, the more hell broke loose. Just keeping my mind was a struggle. But now that some things have subsided I am taking my life back. But not all has been bad. My home-girl, Tanisha got married, this past Sunday (yay!!!!!), with that I had my first opportunity to add to my resume/portfolio my first wedding. I did the make up and hair for all 7 girls which included myself and the bride.
I have also decided to terminate some friendship that were not edifying and I joined weight watcher's, which I am really excited about.
The Lord has made me some promise, that are starting to come to past, I asked him to prepare to receive all that he has for me, so that includes me being my best me. So I ready for the shift and ready to get it in on this weight loss. And yes I will keep you up to date!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
I FELL!!!!!! ......Now what?
Weather people want to admit it or not we all miss the mark some times. I will be the first to wave my hands, jump up and down and say "yes, me too!" What happens when you fall? Especially when you work in ministry? Me personally if and when I do mess up, I feel soooooooo horrible that I don't want to encourage any one else on my blog or FB group, b/c I feel like "how dare I say anything, I'm a hypocrite!". #trickoftheenmey. Why is that? Because #1 I repented and #2 the Lord has charged me with a task and I have to obey. I don't want Him to catch me with my work un-done.
Ok you fell, you were wrong, NOW GET UP AND KEEP PRESSING TOWARD THE MARK! Romans 3:23 say "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God". But you can't stay there. First let's understand our relationship with God and the part sin plays. In Genesis when God created us, he said "let Us make man in Our imagine". So we were made to be just like God, who is without sin. We were in fellowship with God, until the fall of man when Adam and Eve ate of the tree. Sin entered the world and there was a divide between man and God. Sin became apart of our nature. Genesis 5:3 says "And Adam live an hundred and thirty years and begot a son in his own likeness, after his imagine, and called his name Seth." Moreover, David said in Psalms 51:5 "Behold I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me." Because of the fall of man we were disconnected from who we really were in God. A sinful man could not come before God which is why in the old testament we had to offer burnt sacrifices to pay for our sins. To quote T.D. Jakes "a innocent lamb paid the price for a crime he did not commit for a guilty man to live in a righteousness that he could not afford." But Jesus came, died and paid the debt so that can come boldly to the throne of Grace. (Hence the term "Lamb of God") So what does this mean? Our sins are already forgiven, we just have to accept it. He's not going to force it on us. (I can go farther about why we still sin but that's a whole other lesson that I am holding on to, this stuff is deep y'all!)
Now I want to pause here to clarify, because I don't want anyone to take this as license to keep sinning. Proverbs 24:16 states that a just man falls seven times but gets up. THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SAINT AND A SINNER RIGHT THERE! Although a saint sins, he is not a sinner because he doesn't practice sin. You get up you repent and whole heartily ask for forgiveness and turn away from it, forgive yourself and keep it moving. But you have to turn away from it. The Bible says, "If my people who are called by My name would humble themselves and pray, seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their land." That's the key! If you truly love Him you would keep his commandment. Yes, he knows your heart, meaning he knows if you are sinning intentionally or if it is your true desire to present your body as a living sacrifice and live for Him.
If you can understand the fundamental concept that our lives is a constant battle between flesh and the spirit; a battle of ideas, that take place in the mind, then you understand the underlying theme of this Christian walk. A lot of time we make this walk so complex and mysterious and it really not. Have you noticed that when ever you get a revelation it's like a light bulb comes on and you are amazed that the you didn't get it before because it was just such a simple concept?
Again, Jesus already paid the price for our salvation. It is by grace we are saved. Romans says "That if thou shalt confess with thou mouth, the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart, that God has raised Jesus from the grave, thou shalt be saved." So from that point you are saved but you have to renew your mind. "Let this mind be in you that is also in Christ Jesus". [Philippians 2:5] "And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..."[Romans 12:2].
I use to pray that the Lord take away temptation, but T.D. Jakes said something that was sooooo profound but yet so simple (I love him, can't you tell LOL) "temptation would not be temptation if He took it away would it? " Even Jesus was tempted. If He was tempted, why do you think you shouldn't be tempted??? What counts is how you respond to the temptation. Paul ask God to take the thorn from his flesh and God answered him and said "My grace is sufficient for thee" [2 Corinthian 12:9]. Again, this is a war between spirit and flesh. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (KJV) "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but might through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." Ok for better understand for those who may not understand what the KJV is saying NLT says "We use God's might weapons, not worldly weapons to knock down the stronghold of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We Capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ" --All in the mind.
So what ever man (spirit or human) you feed is the one that's going to get stronger. If you constantly feed you flesh, carnality will win, if you edify the spirit-man, then you will over come the flesh. For in this flesh of ours dwells no good thing [Romans 7:18]. So how do you get this booger under control? The same way you discipline a child. What happens when you give a child everything they wants? They get spoiled and out of control. Fast. Deny your flesh. Okay, so the word says "train up a child in the way they should go that when he is old he will not depart from it", so same thing with the flesh. When you fast and deny your flesh what it wants, you are preparing for the battle. If you discipline your child at home, then they know how to act when they get outside right? SAME THING! The enemy tempts us. He doesn't make us do anything. God gave us free will to choose. But if you go into temptation (battle) without being prepared you will lose every time. And if you lose, get up repent and keep pressing toward the mark. But he does gives us a way of escape through the word. The devil tells us lies and if we are not prepared we believe them because that's what our flesh wants to do.He appeals to and entices the flesh in which dwells not good thing. But we fight Satan with the word. Ephesians 6:11-17 "Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places, wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand. Stand therefore, having you loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and you feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God".
The word also says "resist the devil and he shall flee", so if you keep grounded in the word and are prepared for battle, resisting the temptation, the devil will realize that his tactics aren't working and he can't keeping tempting you with the same thing. I going to leave you with one more scripture as food for thought, Psalm 119:11 "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee".
That's it in a nutshell luvs! LOL I did not intend for this to be such a long post, but I had to preach to myself for a moment, and I just get soooo excited about the Word but hey to God be the glory anyhow. LOL. I pray that this encourages someone. LOVE YOU ALL!
Ok you fell, you were wrong, NOW GET UP AND KEEP PRESSING TOWARD THE MARK! Romans 3:23 say "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God". But you can't stay there. First let's understand our relationship with God and the part sin plays. In Genesis when God created us, he said "let Us make man in Our imagine". So we were made to be just like God, who is without sin. We were in fellowship with God, until the fall of man when Adam and Eve ate of the tree. Sin entered the world and there was a divide between man and God. Sin became apart of our nature. Genesis 5:3 says "And Adam live an hundred and thirty years and begot a son in his own likeness, after his imagine, and called his name Seth." Moreover, David said in Psalms 51:5 "Behold I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me." Because of the fall of man we were disconnected from who we really were in God. A sinful man could not come before God which is why in the old testament we had to offer burnt sacrifices to pay for our sins. To quote T.D. Jakes "a innocent lamb paid the price for a crime he did not commit for a guilty man to live in a righteousness that he could not afford." But Jesus came, died and paid the debt so that can come boldly to the throne of Grace. (Hence the term "Lamb of God") So what does this mean? Our sins are already forgiven, we just have to accept it. He's not going to force it on us. (I can go farther about why we still sin but that's a whole other lesson that I am holding on to, this stuff is deep y'all!)
Now I want to pause here to clarify, because I don't want anyone to take this as license to keep sinning. Proverbs 24:16 states that a just man falls seven times but gets up. THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SAINT AND A SINNER RIGHT THERE! Although a saint sins, he is not a sinner because he doesn't practice sin. You get up you repent and whole heartily ask for forgiveness and turn away from it, forgive yourself and keep it moving. But you have to turn away from it. The Bible says, "If my people who are called by My name would humble themselves and pray, seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, forgive their sins and heal their land." That's the key! If you truly love Him you would keep his commandment. Yes, he knows your heart, meaning he knows if you are sinning intentionally or if it is your true desire to present your body as a living sacrifice and live for Him.
If you can understand the fundamental concept that our lives is a constant battle between flesh and the spirit; a battle of ideas, that take place in the mind, then you understand the underlying theme of this Christian walk. A lot of time we make this walk so complex and mysterious and it really not. Have you noticed that when ever you get a revelation it's like a light bulb comes on and you are amazed that the you didn't get it before because it was just such a simple concept?
Again, Jesus already paid the price for our salvation. It is by grace we are saved. Romans says "That if thou shalt confess with thou mouth, the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart, that God has raised Jesus from the grave, thou shalt be saved." So from that point you are saved but you have to renew your mind. "Let this mind be in you that is also in Christ Jesus". [Philippians 2:5] "And be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..."[Romans 12:2].
I use to pray that the Lord take away temptation, but T.D. Jakes said something that was sooooo profound but yet so simple (I love him, can't you tell LOL) "temptation would not be temptation if He took it away would it? " Even Jesus was tempted. If He was tempted, why do you think you shouldn't be tempted??? What counts is how you respond to the temptation. Paul ask God to take the thorn from his flesh and God answered him and said "My grace is sufficient for thee" [2 Corinthian 12:9]. Again, this is a war between spirit and flesh. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (KJV) "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but might through God to the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." Ok for better understand for those who may not understand what the KJV is saying NLT says "We use God's might weapons, not worldly weapons to knock down the stronghold of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We Capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ" --All in the mind.
So what ever man (spirit or human) you feed is the one that's going to get stronger. If you constantly feed you flesh, carnality will win, if you edify the spirit-man, then you will over come the flesh. For in this flesh of ours dwells no good thing [Romans 7:18]. So how do you get this booger under control? The same way you discipline a child. What happens when you give a child everything they wants? They get spoiled and out of control. Fast. Deny your flesh. Okay, so the word says "train up a child in the way they should go that when he is old he will not depart from it", so same thing with the flesh. When you fast and deny your flesh what it wants, you are preparing for the battle. If you discipline your child at home, then they know how to act when they get outside right? SAME THING! The enemy tempts us. He doesn't make us do anything. God gave us free will to choose. But if you go into temptation (battle) without being prepared you will lose every time. And if you lose, get up repent and keep pressing toward the mark. But he does gives us a way of escape through the word. The devil tells us lies and if we are not prepared we believe them because that's what our flesh wants to do.He appeals to and entices the flesh in which dwells not good thing. But we fight Satan with the word. Ephesians 6:11-17 "Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places, wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand. Stand therefore, having you loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and you feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God".
The word also says "resist the devil and he shall flee", so if you keep grounded in the word and are prepared for battle, resisting the temptation, the devil will realize that his tactics aren't working and he can't keeping tempting you with the same thing. I going to leave you with one more scripture as food for thought, Psalm 119:11 "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee".
That's it in a nutshell luvs! LOL I did not intend for this to be such a long post, but I had to preach to myself for a moment, and I just get soooo excited about the Word but hey to God be the glory anyhow. LOL. I pray that this encourages someone. LOVE YOU ALL!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Daily Prayer of Love
Endless Love
Lord, I want my love for you to be expressed as naturally as breathing in and out. In that way my whole existence-my very life itself-will be an expression of my love for you. Accept my meager attempts to love you completely Lord.
What know we of the Blest above
But that they sing, and that they love?
-William Wordsworth
But that they sing, and that they love?
-William Wordsworth
Money Talks: Envelope System
I can admit that I am not the most fiscally responsible. When I have extra money it's like it burns a whole in my pocket and I just burn through it on stupid things. And the ironic thing is that can be cheap though, (how that works; I don't know). But anyway, aside from the goal of digging myself out of debt, I have things that's need to save up for, and if I keep up the same spending habits, I will always be in the same place. I have already proved to myself that I can go into "survival mode" and save. When I got disciplined made up my mind it really didn't take me long to save up money for my down payment. But now the challenge is because now I've incurred new bills. In an attempt to better plan my spending I'm going to try this system:
I also found this :
So I've downloaded this app on my phone. I'm still trying to figure it out completely b/c I'm not starting on a payday for me. But we shall see how this works out for me, especially since my income can be fluctuate since I have my side hustles.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
"I Love Their Love": Spotlight on Warryn and Erica Campbell
You all know that I am HUGE Mary Mary Fan. And I admire the Godly marriages they have. I consider them something to look up to. Sooooooo look-ey what I found: Warryn and Erica's wedding on TLC's A Wedding Story! I know how I missed this because I use to be addicted to that show.
AWWWWW I love their LOVE!
and look at them now!
I thought it was sooooo cute that she sang the same song to him on their "Baby-Moon" that she did on their wedding day. Oh on day the Lord is going to bless me with MY OWN bond like that, and it's going to be the best thing in the world because God would have created it just for me!
Daily Prayer of Love
Endless Love
Father, thank you for initiating our wonderful relationship by loving me first! Your perfect love has taught me to trust you and leave my fear of your judgment behind. Your love for me brings such joy to my life, Lord. Help me spread this joy to others today.
Love is not abstract--it's concrete. It's the
reality of self-sacrifice rather than self-preservation,
of giving even when it hurts, of forgiving rather than
"keeping score."
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Feature: A Lesson from A Celeb Marriage- Teddy and Tina Campbell
I am a HUGE fan of Mary Mary on WeTV. I love the way they represent Christians in this day in age and relationships. They keep it real, and they are transparent. In the second episode of the season, that was a convo between Tina and her hubby Teddy about her appearance. Yes, when she is in "Mary Mode", Tina is all doll-ed up, with the hair, make-up and dress, but on the everyday tip, she's plain and comfortable, which how I feel most of us women are (especially me). This is a realistic and very relevant topic of convo that should be discussed. Do we as women get too lazy and too comfortable when it comes to appearances?
"This is the man that I intend to spending the rest of my life with. He can't tell me there's something he wants, something he needs, something that makes him happy and I'mma disregard it. That is what we call a fool. Why would I do that? How I'mma keep him if he ain't happy"
When this episode aired, I had a convo with my mom, (it's kinda funny because my mother is kinda on the low, trying to groom me for marriage, and she has starting PLANNING MY WEDDING! It's quite funny because I'm not even dating...so I kinda laugh it off, but I do take what she says to heart because it's wisdom) but she was saying that it's important that you keep your appearances up. Now any one who knows me, know that I LOVE fashion! But I can admit that I do get lazy with it at times especially during the week, mainly because I do work from home, right after work, I'm heading to school, where I have to wear a uniform, and I rarely go anywhere until the weekend, and more than likely it's church and I do get GAWGEOUS for the Lord. But, yes I can do more.
A couple of weeks ago my clinic for teacher (who is a male) joked that if I stepped it up I would more than likely get asked out more. I didn't too much offense because to know Mr. Ed you know that he cracks on everyone. But it was food for thought. I can remember recently running into a guy that I am interested in and I wasn't to the nines. I wasn't bummy but I wasn't looking my best and I feeling a little embarrassed because I could have looked better. So I'm going to challenge myself to step it up. Keeping my hair flawless even through the week, working to get my skin back together, actually ironing (lol somehow I got out of that habit in college with all the hustle and rushing) even if that mean getting up earlier. A lot more can be discussed on this topic so I'm going to try my best to remember to do a part two to this.
Do you think you could step it up a little more?
"When I'm home and I go into a Tina space, I'm Tina. I'm Teddy's wife, I'm these kids' momma, I'm her; don't look for Mary. It's a lot of work to be ON; ready for the camera. I can't be ON all the time; it's too much work "
"This is the man that I intend to spending the rest of my life with. He can't tell me there's something he wants, something he needs, something that makes him happy and I'mma disregard it. That is what we call a fool. Why would I do that? How I'mma keep him if he ain't happy"
When this episode aired, I had a convo with my mom, (it's kinda funny because my mother is kinda on the low, trying to groom me for marriage, and she has starting PLANNING MY WEDDING! It's quite funny because I'm not even dating...so I kinda laugh it off, but I do take what she says to heart because it's wisdom) but she was saying that it's important that you keep your appearances up. Now any one who knows me, know that I LOVE fashion! But I can admit that I do get lazy with it at times especially during the week, mainly because I do work from home, right after work, I'm heading to school, where I have to wear a uniform, and I rarely go anywhere until the weekend, and more than likely it's church and I do get GAWGEOUS for the Lord. But, yes I can do more.
A couple of weeks ago my clinic for teacher (who is a male) joked that if I stepped it up I would more than likely get asked out more. I didn't too much offense because to know Mr. Ed you know that he cracks on everyone. But it was food for thought. I can remember recently running into a guy that I am interested in and I wasn't to the nines. I wasn't bummy but I wasn't looking my best and I feeling a little embarrassed because I could have looked better. So I'm going to challenge myself to step it up. Keeping my hair flawless even through the week, working to get my skin back together, actually ironing (lol somehow I got out of that habit in college with all the hustle and rushing) even if that mean getting up earlier. A lot more can be discussed on this topic so I'm going to try my best to remember to do a part two to this.
Do you think you could step it up a little more?
The Well Rounded Woman: Money Talks
Proverbs 31's description of the virtuous woman describes her as a well rounded woman; spiritually and naturally. So I am going to talk other things that make us well rounded. Challenging myself to make some changes so that I can be that virtuous women. I am also considering join my other two blogs: Hair Junkie Diva and Plush Diva together with this one....it's just a thought.
But I want to start with the topic of money. I have always be told to "speak prosperity into your life" but James says, "faith without works is dead." So we need to take the necessary step to be finanically sound. So for the first "Money Talks" post I what to share an article I found in Black Enterprise.
Peek In Your Purse
by Carolyn M. Brown
Cindy McField-Asamoah views herself as a minimalist. “I don’t carry a lot of makeup or other items in my purse. I have an iPad 2 that I sometimes carry, and a BlackBerry Torch that I carry everywhere.” The 37-year-old married New York real estate broker switches up her purses according to her outfits, but they’re all hobo style—large crescent-shaped handbags with a long strap. “I need a large handbag because I often travel with my son [2-year-old Kaleb].
I am carrying things for both of us.” A vice president with the Corcoran Group in Brooklyn, New York, she keeps her wallet or clutch organized. “It doesn’t have sections, but my money is grouped together in one area, my credit and debit cards are in another, and my receipts are all in another.”
Why should it matter what’s in McField-Asamoah’s handbag? Robin A. Young, a certified financial planner, says a “purse check” is one way women can do a quick financial assessment. Financial behavior often reflects how you feel about yourself, says Young, president of Women Behaving Wealthy in New York. Money is personal and emotional—and what you carry around every day says a lot about your relationship with it.
For example, the credit cards McField-Asamoah carries in her purse are indicative of her challenges with debt. She admits that she was a frivolous spender before her son was born. “I tightened the purse strings because a lot of money now goes toward his needs.” McField-Asamoah is expecting another baby this summer. She avoids department store charge cards and currently has a MasterCard and American Express card. She pays with cash whenever possible, often using her debit cards, as she pays down her debt, including a $10,000 MasterCard balance.
An independent contractor, McField-Asamoah has a SEP-IRA account through Merrill Lynch to which she contributes on average $20,000 annually when feasible. She also contributes 10% of her paycheck to savings, mostly joint accounts with her husband, Kobla. The couple lacks structure. “We have goals in place but not a step-by-step plan for achieving them,” she says.
Like McField-Asamoah, many women want to pay off their credit cards and reduce spending while increasing savings. But the one area where most women still lack is retirement assets. The average woman near retirement has $34,000 in a 401(k) plan or IRA, whereas her male counterpart has $70,000. Roughly four out of 10 women rely on Social Security as their only source of retirement income. For many, a 401(k) plan serves as their emergency fund.
Part of the challenge is that the male-dominated financial services industry is oriented toward the male mindset, says Young. “The industry doesn’t meet the unique needs of women, who have more questions and approach money more holistically.” Young has worked in financial services for 12 years, most recently at Fidelity Investments, where she advised 500 millionaires how to invest their money.
“A woman behaving wealthy spends on the basis of what is important to her on her current income,” Young says. “You never want to operate out of a place of fear. The goal is to become more confident and comfortable about making wealth decisions.”
So, grab your bag and answer these seven questions to see if you’re a woman behaving wealthy.
So, grab your bag and answer these seven questions to see if you’re a woman behaving wealthy.
What’s in your wallet?
Count the number of credit cards (not debit cards) that you carry. If you have more than one, you’re likely overspending and incurring debt. You should have one credit card that you use to, say, rent a car or pay for a trip, with the goal
of paying off that card in 30 days.
Count the number of credit cards (not debit cards) that you carry. If you have more than one, you’re likely overspending and incurring debt. You should have one credit card that you use to, say, rent a car or pay for a trip, with the goal
of paying off that card in 30 days.
“You really should be using cash or a debit card, which would indicate that you’re living within your means,” says Young. “If you’re using credit then you’re probably spending beyond your income. Besides, managing multiple credit cards complicates life instead of simplifying it.”
What’s the average balance on those cards? For example, if you have five cards with a credit limit of $2,000 and each has a balance of $1,000, your total debt is $5,000. You have used 50% of your available credit, which affects your FICO score. You need to put away those cards, stop using them, and pay them off.
“Don’t close the account after paying off the balance, because that will increase your debt-to-available-credit ratio, which will lower your credit score,” cautions Young. Once you pay off all your cards, consider using one account. “Keep the credit card that offers the most benefits like cash-back rewards, merchant discounts, and airline mileage points,” suggests Young. Nix department store cards since they charge the highest interest rates, canceling out any 15% to 20% discount you get for using them, she points out.
To help you manage your debt, check your credit score, view alerts, and handle other tasks, use tools such as Equifax’s mobile app for the iPhone, iPad, or Android phone. For other management tools, see “4 Apps to Boost Your Score” in Money, this issue.
To help you manage your debt, check your credit score, view alerts, and handle other tasks, use tools such as Equifax’s mobile app for the iPhone, iPad, or Android phone. For other management tools, see “4 Apps to Boost Your Score” in Money, this issue.
Is your cash organized by denomination?
Open your wallet and look at how your cash is organized. Is it ordered by denomination with bills facing the same way? Cash that’s arranged and in order is characteristic of a person whose financial life is organized, Young says. Not to mention that it’s easier to get hold of and to add when making purchases.
Open your wallet and look at how your cash is organized. Is it ordered by denomination with bills facing the same way? Cash that’s arranged and in order is characteristic of a person whose financial life is organized, Young says. Not to mention that it’s easier to get hold of and to add when making purchases.
“Cash in disarray reflects a disorganized financial life. Focusing through clutter and chaos is difficult.” Organize your cash, financial files, documents, and accounts. “It is hard to have abundance when your money isn’t in order and financial papers are all over the place,” says Young. Disorder increases the odds that you’ll get overcharged or miss payment due dates. Some women are even afraid to look at their statements, allowing them to sit around unopened for months, notes Young. You’re not making the right financial decisions if you don’t review your financial statements each month.
Young explains that organizing—your cash and your financial papers—has to do with money awareness. “When I was at Fidelity, I managed nearly $1 billion in assets for clients who averaged $2 million each. The one thing my millionaires had in common is they were very money aware. If they got charged $10, right or wrong, they would question it. They were very focused—though not obsessive—on how much money they had at all times.” Every day, the woman behaving wealthy is aware of how much money she has in her purse, checking account, and savings.
In addition to tools such as Mint, Intuit’s Quicken personal finance software gives you the ability to track and maintain records of bank accounts, credit cards, loans, brokerage accounts, IRA accounts, insurance policy status, and various other transactions.
Do you have an up-to-date to-do list?
Do you have an up-to-date to-do list?
Whether you maintain a to-do list in a traditional day planner or on an electronic device, it’s essential that you have a written plan for what you would like to achieve, says Young. It can be daily, weekly, or monthly. “Having a current to-do list reflects that you have identified, quantified, and prioritized your goals. Research has proven that goals that are written down are more likely to be achieved.”
Let’s say one of your goals is to pay off your debts. When you go to the mall and see a dress you like, you need to know that spending that $200 means you’ll have $200 less to pay toward your debts. You’re even more aware when you have a specific dollar amount, adds Young. For instance, if your goal is to retire early and you need to save $600 a month to do it, it becomes easier to make daily buying decisions.
“Having a better sense of your day translates into having a better sense of your money,” Young says. “When you become more strategic about managing your daily life, you become more strategic about managing your finances.”
LifeWellth.com, a personal finance resource, now provides an iPad app that helps you set and formulate custom long-term plans to reach financial goals such as retirement, purchasing a home, and saving for college.
Do you have protection plans on your electronic devices?
Protection plans protect you from the loss or malfunction of your gadgets. Let’s say you lost your $300 smartphone. With a protection plan, you have the option of receiving a free replacement or paying a small fee. Ask yourself if you can manage the risk, says Young. If your $500 tablet is lost, stolen, or destroyed, can you afford a new one without financial difficulty?
Protection plans protect you from the loss or malfunction of your gadgets. Let’s say you lost your $300 smartphone. With a protection plan, you have the option of receiving a free replacement or paying a small fee. Ask yourself if you can manage the risk, says Young. If your $500 tablet is lost, stolen, or destroyed, can you afford a new one without financial difficulty?
Protecting your gadgets is analogous to protecting your assets. Essentially, you need five forms of protection or insurance coverage: disability, life, health, homeowners’ liability, and long-term care—especially given that women live longer, but often in worse health. “Every day, you face innumerable risks. A woman behaving wealthy protects her assets: loved ones, income, health, and property,” adds Young.
Retailers such as Best Buy and manufacturers such as Apple offer their own protection plans or warranties. Also, visit SquareTrade.com, an independent warranty provider that says it offers prices that are on average 40% less than most retailers’ prices. For more information on insurance products, visit A.M. Best’s Consumer Insurance Center at www3.ambest.com/consumers/.
Do you have an emergency card?
An emergency card lists your healthcare emergency names and numbers (e.g., hospital, doctor, dentist, pharmacy, health plan, and insurance policy). It includes your family’s contact information (e.g., spouse’s, parents’, and children’s contact numbers) in case of an accident. The best time to prepare for an emergency is before it happens. One quick way to create an emergency card is to go to RedCross.org/contactcard. Young says that if you have an emergency card, you have probably taken steps to create an emergency kit, which RedCross.org also explains how to prepare.
An emergency card lists your healthcare emergency names and numbers (e.g., hospital, doctor, dentist, pharmacy, health plan, and insurance policy). It includes your family’s contact information (e.g., spouse’s, parents’, and children’s contact numbers) in case of an accident. The best time to prepare for an emergency is before it happens. One quick way to create an emergency card is to go to RedCross.org/contactcard. Young says that if you have an emergency card, you have probably taken steps to create an emergency kit, which RedCross.org also explains how to prepare.
This mindset of preparedness ties into estate planning, she adds, because women behaving wealthy prepare for other unfortunate possibilities such as disabling illness or death. You should have a financial directive or power of attorney (someone to handle all your financial matters) and medical directive or power of attorney (someone to make decisions about your medical treatment) in the event that you’re unable to.
Have you selected a custodial and financial guardian to care for your minor children, bearing in mind that minors cannot inherit assets, including life insurance benefits? Have you updated the beneficiary designations of your 401(k), IRA, bank account, and life insurance policy? At BlackEnterprise.com, watch the video, “How Estate Planning Protects Your Family.”
Are receipts and important papers organized?
Receipts and important documents in your purse can represent additional income and savings if you use them to lower your tax liability. “By consistently categorizing expenditures that are potential deductions and credits, you are employing tax-reduction strategies to increase your wealth,” Young explains. “Taxes are a detour on the wealth-building journey, as they erode your investing power. A woman behaving wealthy has the objective of retaining as much income as possible, which can then be redirected to savings.”
Receipts and important documents in your purse can represent additional income and savings if you use them to lower your tax liability. “By consistently categorizing expenditures that are potential deductions and credits, you are employing tax-reduction strategies to increase your wealth,” Young explains. “Taxes are a detour on the wealth-building journey, as they erode your investing power. A woman behaving wealthy has the objective of retaining as much income as possible, which can then be redirected to savings.”
ProOnGo.com is a personal finance tool that allows you to track things like automotive mileage and business-related expenses, and to generate expense reports for tax purposes. Another is Expensify.com, which creates automatic expense reports from photo scans of receipts.
If you passed the litmus test for six or all of the above questions, congratulations are in order—it appears that you are a woman behaving wealthy. If your purse audit suggests that you aren’t quite on the right path, it’s still not too late, Young says. “Take action today and transform your financial life.”BE
Daily Prayer of Love
Finding Forgiveness
Lord, it's hard to mend a friendship when trust has been broken. Yet when we open your Word, we see how you continued to love your people even when they abandoned you again and again! Give us that ability to love and forgive in the face of broken trust, Lord. Heal our relationships as only you can.
A wise man will make haste to forgive,
Because he knows the true value of time,
and will not suffer it to pass away in
unnecessary pain.
--Samuel Johnson
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Daily Prayer of Love
True Friendship
Almighty God, of all the things you've created, friendship must be among your favorites. What a joy it is for me to be with my friends, Lord. What encouragement and affirmation I get from them--and what correction if is's needed. That's the beauty of true friendship. It isn't just for here and now. It's forever.
A true friend is the gift of God, and He
only who made hearts can unite them.
--Robert South
Monday, May 21, 2012
TD Jakes Live on Purpose Pt 1.
This message is really blessing me right now. And it touches on some of the things in his book Let it Go: Forgive So You Can Be Forgiven.
Daily Prayer of Love
Free Love
[Love] does not demand it's own way.
1 Corinthians 13:5
You love us, Lord, not because are particularly lovable. And it's certainly not the cause that you need to receive our love. I am so heartened by this: you offer your love simply because you delight in doing it.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Daily Pray of Love
Choose Love
Dear God, isn't it funny how much better I feel when I choose to love? And yet how many times in the course of my life have I chosen anger or hatred or fear? Let me always choose love first, for when I do make that choice, it opens up the door way to new friendships and joy that other choices cannot give me. Make love be not only my first choice but my only choice. Thank you, God, for choosing to love me.
Love powers all of creation, and when we choose to love,
we are creating a wonderful reality for ourselves and
those we care about. Let us then only create miracles
and blessings. If we have the choice why choose anything but love?
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
My Transparency and Ramblings
I have a confession, the past couple of days I have not been happy and have been far away from God. Although to others it may not have seemed as thought I have physically done anything that we as humans would consider a sin, I have not been operating in the will. This began when all the post about graduation when up on Facebook, and a sense of shame and depression came over me. Then I begin to think about the fact that I feel alone. I have noticed that it seems as though I have been isolated. I notice that I'm the one always calling people to see how there are and it's rare that my phone rings just to have a convo with some who just wants to see how my day is going. I see post about outtings that I wasn't invited to and yes I get bumbed out about it. And for me it's like a domino effect. Once I feel down about one thing, everything that i'm hurt by or ashamed about surfaces. And those are triggers that causing me to fall back into old habbits, which in turn triggers me be ashamed of my current actions, and the fact that I'm disappointing my Father. Here is were I am:
These are all half trues that I allow the enemy to get me down about (emphases on that fact that I allow it, we need to take responsible for thing that we do to ourselves and stop blaming every thing on the devil, he has no power, but what we give him. We have power and dominion over him). Now here is what is true. I did not leave school because I flunked out. I had made bad financial decisions years ago that caused a domino effect of things to occurs which brought me to a point of owing some money in order for me to register for my last semester of school. It wasn't a huge amount of money, but I didn't have it to pay at the time. I asked my parents to help me. They came up with the money but we had a emergency situation back home which cause my parent to have to use the money that we can up with. As I scrambled to come up the money, I ask the Lord to have his way anyhow. Needless to say, we never came up with the money. So I said "ok Lord, I guess this means that you want me to go ahead and go to hair school now, instead of waiting until after I graduate like I had planned." So I when ahead and enrolled at the school down in Bloomington. Well, things weren't working out for me to be able to live in Bloomington and go to school there, so I was forced to come home. The Lord later revealed, that he need to remove me from my surroundings because it was more of a hindering for me spiritually.
Now the devil likes to whisper things to me like "Your just a failure. You don't have anything going for yourself. See, people who started school years after you have graduated. You can't find a job making over $1000 a month because you don't have a degree. I thought your God was going to take care of you. You were doing better before. You had your own place, you were independent, and that was what was attractive about you. You at least had someone to hold you at night. Look at you now, you live with your mother, your alone, people are distancing themselves from you, you might as well go back to how you were, you will feel more vaildated." LIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Reality:
He has to remove some people to make room for the ones who he is placing around me that are going to bless me and provide an edifying friendship/relationship. It's ok though, because everyone can't go with you. Although, things may not be happening in my time table or for that matter on the time table other may think that it is should, it's happening in HIS perfect time. He is the author of time. I have nothing to worry about because all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord. You know what, God has made me some promises and as long I walk up rightly before Him, He has to do what HE said that He was going to do.
The devil's job is to distract us, and he does this by feeding us a word that is contray to what God said. And some times we can be foolish and believe what the devil says verses what God says b/c we are too busy concentrating on what we see now and not on what God is preparing for us. For example, people like to ask me this question: "what if the Lord wants you to be by yourself forever?" That's fine, but that's not what he has for me. How do I know, (#1) prophecy is suppose to confirm what God has already told you. God already gave me a word and it wasn't that I was going to be alone forever. He is preparing me. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it not in the works. I asked God to reveal what he has for me and he did, and I was like "really, God??? I can't see that but ok, prepare me for it". (And he made it plain, but you can't always tell every one all the detail because not everyone is for you. But what God has for you is for you) Now how long it takes is base on how long it takes for me to fulfill my purpose in my singleness. And honestly as much as I would LOVE to be married, heck in a relationship for that matter, I'm not ready yet. He said that he would give me the desires of my heart, and it is my desire that when get married that I be financially sound on my own and at this point I'm not there. I desire a man to compliment me not complete me, so for me I need to have my own first. I don't desire to jump from my mother taking care of me to my husband taking care of me. And too, I know the role the of a wife and I don't fully have that down pat yet. I'm still in training. And on the relationship tip, I have not been APPROACHED by a GODLY man yet. (How can two walk together unless they agree) I can be honest and say yes, I struggle with lust (who doesn't) and if I'm with someone who doesn't desire to live Godly then that is a set up for disaster. (Learned that the hard way)
Ok, enough with all my ramblings. Moral of the story is: keep your eye on what God has promised, keep pressing toward the mark of the high calling. Yes, you are going to have your days but don't get stuck in Lo Debar, GET UP FROM THERE AND KEEP IT MOVING!!! Most importantly don't allow the enemy to distract you by feeding you a word contrary from THE WORD. I'm-ma keep pressing, and I hope you do too. Pray for me and I'm going to pray for you all. LOVE YOU ALL!
This blessed me today and inspired to to actually share my struggle:
http://
By Nina at allthingsnina.blogspot.com. Check her out and support her!
- I am very lonely
- I have not forgiven myself for the things I have done in the past and very ashame of who I was
- I am upset with myself that I have not accomplished what I set to accomplished at this age
- I am fearfully of hitting 30 without being married and having a child.
These are all half trues that I allow the enemy to get me down about (emphases on that fact that I allow it, we need to take responsible for thing that we do to ourselves and stop blaming every thing on the devil, he has no power, but what we give him. We have power and dominion over him). Now here is what is true. I did not leave school because I flunked out. I had made bad financial decisions years ago that caused a domino effect of things to occurs which brought me to a point of owing some money in order for me to register for my last semester of school. It wasn't a huge amount of money, but I didn't have it to pay at the time. I asked my parents to help me. They came up with the money but we had a emergency situation back home which cause my parent to have to use the money that we can up with. As I scrambled to come up the money, I ask the Lord to have his way anyhow. Needless to say, we never came up with the money. So I said "ok Lord, I guess this means that you want me to go ahead and go to hair school now, instead of waiting until after I graduate like I had planned." So I when ahead and enrolled at the school down in Bloomington. Well, things weren't working out for me to be able to live in Bloomington and go to school there, so I was forced to come home. The Lord later revealed, that he need to remove me from my surroundings because it was more of a hindering for me spiritually.
Now the devil likes to whisper things to me like "Your just a failure. You don't have anything going for yourself. See, people who started school years after you have graduated. You can't find a job making over $1000 a month because you don't have a degree. I thought your God was going to take care of you. You were doing better before. You had your own place, you were independent, and that was what was attractive about you. You at least had someone to hold you at night. Look at you now, you live with your mother, your alone, people are distancing themselves from you, you might as well go back to how you were, you will feel more vaildated." LIES!!!!!!!!!!!
Reality:
- All of my needs have been met.
- I am still in school.
- I have been blessed with a new car that is way better than the one I had before.
- Although I haven't had a car in 3 cars I can count on 1 hand how many times I have had to catch the bus.
- I just placed 4th out 21 competitiors in a national hair competition.
- For the 10 months I have been unemployed I can count on one hand how many times I have been literally without ANY money.
- I just went from being close to being fired from my job to just offered a promotion.
- The reason people are disappearing from my life, I asked God to remove people who are not edifying my walk with HIM.
He has to remove some people to make room for the ones who he is placing around me that are going to bless me and provide an edifying friendship/relationship. It's ok though, because everyone can't go with you. Although, things may not be happening in my time table or for that matter on the time table other may think that it is should, it's happening in HIS perfect time. He is the author of time. I have nothing to worry about because all things work together for the good of them that love the Lord. You know what, God has made me some promises and as long I walk up rightly before Him, He has to do what HE said that He was going to do.
The devil's job is to distract us, and he does this by feeding us a word that is contray to what God said. And some times we can be foolish and believe what the devil says verses what God says b/c we are too busy concentrating on what we see now and not on what God is preparing for us. For example, people like to ask me this question: "what if the Lord wants you to be by yourself forever?" That's fine, but that's not what he has for me. How do I know, (#1) prophecy is suppose to confirm what God has already told you. God already gave me a word and it wasn't that I was going to be alone forever. He is preparing me. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it not in the works. I asked God to reveal what he has for me and he did, and I was like "really, God??? I can't see that but ok, prepare me for it". (And he made it plain, but you can't always tell every one all the detail because not everyone is for you. But what God has for you is for you) Now how long it takes is base on how long it takes for me to fulfill my purpose in my singleness. And honestly as much as I would LOVE to be married, heck in a relationship for that matter, I'm not ready yet. He said that he would give me the desires of my heart, and it is my desire that when get married that I be financially sound on my own and at this point I'm not there. I desire a man to compliment me not complete me, so for me I need to have my own first. I don't desire to jump from my mother taking care of me to my husband taking care of me. And too, I know the role the of a wife and I don't fully have that down pat yet. I'm still in training. And on the relationship tip, I have not been APPROACHED by a GODLY man yet. (How can two walk together unless they agree) I can be honest and say yes, I struggle with lust (who doesn't) and if I'm with someone who doesn't desire to live Godly then that is a set up for disaster. (Learned that the hard way)
Ok, enough with all my ramblings. Moral of the story is: keep your eye on what God has promised, keep pressing toward the mark of the high calling. Yes, you are going to have your days but don't get stuck in Lo Debar, GET UP FROM THERE AND KEEP IT MOVING!!! Most importantly don't allow the enemy to distract you by feeding you a word contrary from THE WORD. I'm-ma keep pressing, and I hope you do too. Pray for me and I'm going to pray for you all. LOVE YOU ALL!
This blessed me today and inspired to to actually share my struggle:
http://
By Nina at allthingsnina.blogspot.com. Check her out and support her!
Daily Prayer of Love
Worthy of Love
Not everyone has the special family that I have, nor do they have the extra opportunities to open their hearts in the way my family does. We are not limited by what the neighbors think nor by society's current popular prejudices. We are far more than that. We are a family that come from love and we accept with pride every unique member. We are all special, and we are all worthy of love. I love and accept each member of my wonderful family, and they in turn love and adore me...We are save and all is well in order world.
- Louise L. Hay
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
-Sir John Bowring
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Daily pray of Love
Loving Those Who Hurt Us
Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and relents from punishing.
Joel 2:13
Lord, this really hurts. My Heart is broken and my faith in love has been shattered. Help me find my way back to wholeness with in. I know that one day I will love again. but right now, I am angry and lost. I know that learning to forgive the one who hurt me is the fastest path to new love, but right now I need all the help I can get just to keep my chin up and my head held high. Help me heal my heart and find it even stronger than before. Help me to one day get to the point where I can forgive, find the lesson in all of this, and move on. Help me show compassion to myself and to the one who caused me this pain. Help me, Lord.
Love isn't always easy to give, but the
giving is always worth it.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
The Most Dangerous Part of your Body
On a recent trip to Detroit with my youth department, I shared a room with my mother, her friend (who happens to be my spiritual mentor), and my Soror, we were sharing funny stories, experiences, and reactions to things that were happening during the conference that we were attending. We were talking about how I can viewed as stand-off-ish or unfriendly at times, which is completely untrue if you are close to me. I'm just cautious as to who allow close to me. (Love everyone, but its not like im clambering for friends, I'll speak and laugh and talk but I don't sit down and have dinner, and just invite everyone into my personal area, that would be foolish) But any way, mother asked the question "can you tell that Brittany use to talk a lot? I use to get calls from the teacher because she couldn't shut her mouth in class". The others shook their heads no and kinda laughed in shock and disbelief.
Well yes it's true I did have this problem, and I had gotten better, due to maturing and life experiences made me more of an introvert, but I do still have my moment of struggle with speaking. Beside the fact that when I'm sleepy I get either (1) extremely cranky or (2) extremely talkative and silly, the Lord had been dealing with me about running to other with my problem rather than coming to Him.
For the sake of transparency, I had a problem with drinking, and I drake to deal w/ my issues, (well clearly that's not good and a drunkenness is a sin), after I got saved, I stopped getting drunk to deal w/ or numb my issues, and I began to talk about things. While that's good, you don't have to tell people everything. There are somethings that you need to just take to God in prayer.
Another issue of the mouth, that, Yes I HAVE, is timing. My spiritual mentor always quotes "Everything that is lawful is not expedient" (1 Corinthians 6:12). Which means, you may be right in what you are saying but that may have not been the time to say it. In the past few weeks the Lord has been trying to bring my issue w/ this to my attention, and it came fully to my attention the other day and a meeting between my pastor and the youth, were he allowed us to tell him how we were feeling. In and attempt to a clean up a major "omg did she really say that moment" that a fellow youth just had I found myself in the same position. What I meant to say didn't fully come out instead it sounded out of order. Yes, everything I said was in fact true but was completely out of order. And I felt it after it came out that I had stuck my foot in my mouth and there was no cleaning it up. And believe me the Lord got me for it.
Sometimes somethings I say come out sounding judgmental. Which is not my intention. The bible tells us that yes we should correct our brother and sister in love. Now me personally it really grinds my gears when people that profess to be "saved, sanctified, and baptized in the name of Jesus, and fulled with the precious gift of the Holy Ghost" make excuses for what they do. My thing is if you are wrong, say your wrong, and don't lean on that fact that we serve a forgiving God as licence to do what ever you want and hide under the cop out of "He knows my heart". Yes, He does but how many time you gone keep doing the same thing before you realize that you have humble your self, pray and TURN from your wicked ways? Like really if someone cheats on you, sayings they are sorry but keeps purposefully doing it would you believe that they were truly sorry? But I digress; now when I give correction and accountability to those who asked me to, the words I use can come off too harsh and judgmental sounding and that's because I get passionate about what I'm saying. So I have to now be slow to speak and ask the Lord to guide my speech so that it is Him speaking and not me and my flesh. He says "with love and kindness have I drawn you". So we want to do the same. So if I have offend anyone personally, I do whole-heartily apologize, that was not my attention.
I'm learning to use wisdom when I speak, and not to speak out of order. Although, I may be right, there is a time and a place for everything.
There is a part two to this because this topic is deeper than most would think. Hey, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I need to study the power of words, and it plays a big role in being the women that God has called us to be. So part two coming soon as I run off to class. LOVE YOU ALL!
Well yes it's true I did have this problem, and I had gotten better, due to maturing and life experiences made me more of an introvert, but I do still have my moment of struggle with speaking. Beside the fact that when I'm sleepy I get either (1) extremely cranky or (2) extremely talkative and silly, the Lord had been dealing with me about running to other with my problem rather than coming to Him.
For the sake of transparency, I had a problem with drinking, and I drake to deal w/ my issues, (well clearly that's not good and a drunkenness is a sin), after I got saved, I stopped getting drunk to deal w/ or numb my issues, and I began to talk about things. While that's good, you don't have to tell people everything. There are somethings that you need to just take to God in prayer.
Another issue of the mouth, that, Yes I HAVE, is timing. My spiritual mentor always quotes "Everything that is lawful is not expedient" (1 Corinthians 6:12). Which means, you may be right in what you are saying but that may have not been the time to say it. In the past few weeks the Lord has been trying to bring my issue w/ this to my attention, and it came fully to my attention the other day and a meeting between my pastor and the youth, were he allowed us to tell him how we were feeling. In and attempt to a clean up a major "omg did she really say that moment" that a fellow youth just had I found myself in the same position. What I meant to say didn't fully come out instead it sounded out of order. Yes, everything I said was in fact true but was completely out of order. And I felt it after it came out that I had stuck my foot in my mouth and there was no cleaning it up. And believe me the Lord got me for it.
Sometimes somethings I say come out sounding judgmental. Which is not my intention. The bible tells us that yes we should correct our brother and sister in love. Now me personally it really grinds my gears when people that profess to be "saved, sanctified, and baptized in the name of Jesus, and fulled with the precious gift of the Holy Ghost" make excuses for what they do. My thing is if you are wrong, say your wrong, and don't lean on that fact that we serve a forgiving God as licence to do what ever you want and hide under the cop out of "He knows my heart". Yes, He does but how many time you gone keep doing the same thing before you realize that you have humble your self, pray and TURN from your wicked ways? Like really if someone cheats on you, sayings they are sorry but keeps purposefully doing it would you believe that they were truly sorry? But I digress; now when I give correction and accountability to those who asked me to, the words I use can come off too harsh and judgmental sounding and that's because I get passionate about what I'm saying. So I have to now be slow to speak and ask the Lord to guide my speech so that it is Him speaking and not me and my flesh. He says "with love and kindness have I drawn you". So we want to do the same. So if I have offend anyone personally, I do whole-heartily apologize, that was not my attention.
I'm learning to use wisdom when I speak, and not to speak out of order. Although, I may be right, there is a time and a place for everything.
There is a part two to this because this topic is deeper than most would think. Hey, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized that I need to study the power of words, and it plays a big role in being the women that God has called us to be. So part two coming soon as I run off to class. LOVE YOU ALL!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
NEW FEATURE: Daily Pray of Love
Teach Me to Love
Take my yoke upon you, and lean from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:29-30
Lord, teach me to love as you love, for I know that is the only way I can show my gratitude for your love of me. It's easy to love when all is going well. I need you when loving is not easy. It's hard to love when I'm tired and see no sign of relief; when I just don't like what others are doing, even those closest to me. Enable me to love not because I feel like it but because that is the only way for there to be hope in this world.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Let's Talk about it: A Page from my personal Journal.
So i previously wrote about journal-ing to help you get your healing. I recently got an email from my penzu acct (which i completely forgot about) and i found a entry that I wrote 2 yrs ago about my struggles with FORGIVENESS. I feel that this can help someone. I have come a long way from the time i wrote this and have been able to forgive.
(NO, I did not use any real names to protect their identity.)
Forgiveness
"Forgiveness. This is something that I am just not realizing I'm having a problem with. I have always thought in the back of my mind if I just keep saying that I forgive a person that one day it would be true but, I realized that is not the case. In all the bad situations I've been in where I have been done wrong by someone, I have just been told to "get over it". People say that all the time, but how do you truly just get over something? I have notice that although I've said I've forgiven certain people, I still hold some pin up aggression towards them. I'm truly trying to live right but hold this type of feeling towards people is not Christ-like. But it is really hard to forgive when people aren't sorry for what they did to you. I've always heard holding on to stuff is not going to hurt anyone but yourself, because that person is sleeping at night not while you sit up here up set. But no one can answer me; how do you do that? I notice that the people I cannot forgive are all females, and we all fell out over a guy. I was able to forgive the guys over the girls for some reason. I did notice that two of these females were once my good friends and then went after the guy I was with. I feel more betrayed by them because of the fact that they were my friends and our friendship clearly didn't mean anything to them because they have absolutely no remorse for what they did to me. The thing I can't figure out for the life of me though, if the Bible says "what so ever a man soweth, that shall he reap", if I am the innocent party in the scenario, why does it seem like the people to do me wrong never reap what they sow? I have never purposely ever done wrong to anyone so why do so many people do me wrong and go on being happy with their lives. Perhaps there is a lesson in all of this that I wasn't getting. I was choosing the wrong people to let get close to me. Perhaps I need to pray for discernment regarding the people in my life. I've ask God to remove people from my life if they weren't meant to be there, but why dose there have to be damage done before they leave? Why not just bow out gracefully? I know this is something I seriously need to work on because, I hindering myself from my blessing because I can't let go of the past and has happened to me. I have taken a step closer to forgive Jae* because I think the only thing that was hindering me is was because when I see her, she would be looking at me crazy. I just recent hear more about the situation with Shasha* with and it is bothering me; more than before. I actually showed emotion. Before I just said I was done with the friendship and left it at that; never really cried about it, but when I found out that she was still having sex with him, had mixed emotions. A part of me was happy because now she wants to be with him and he don't want to be with her and basically be treating her ...but yet and still he still in my face trying to "rekindle" what was (and I know that's wrong to be happy about that, but I feel a little justice being done because she ruined a good friendship over him......I hope it was all worth it). And then I apart of me was upset because, (and for the first time I'm really going to stop lying to myself) I still care about Jason*, and no woman wants to picture the person that they dealt with over a year having continual sex with someone who was once a close friend. For me to look at him and know that he having sex with her.......it hurts. On top of that it just deepens the stab wound in my back that she created by betraying me like that. I really considered Shasha* a good friend of mine. What really makes it worst to me is because; I talked to her about him.....multiple times. But I still haven't learned my lesson about talking to female about my guys (I should have learned that lesson with Tonya*). Because I feel soooo betrayed, I can't see myself forgiving her.......but I know I have to. Like I'm on the border line of hating her for what she did. What is the difference in forgiving in being phony? To me they could appear the same. I honestly need someone to talk to who is not going to judge me. In the past when I told people how I felt in situations like this, they didn't take into account how what I was going through truly made me feel, and kind of looked at me as if I was pathetic and told me to shut up crying and get over it. Get over it? HOW??????? People act like that is the easiest thing in the world to do! If it is please, please tell me how. I would like to know so that I can't lighten the burden on my heart. Heck I haven't fully forgiven Tonya* for what she did to me. I still don't care for her. I really just need something...anything that can help me move on and get on with my life. This might be what holding me up from meeting my Boaz. But I really need to, no matter, how hard it maybe, get Jason* out of my life! I'm low-key trying to hold on to a seasonal person who God has already revealed to me is not who he has for me, all because he telling me what I want to here and I have some people in the background saying "well ya'll got chemistry.....maybe he'll realized what he missed out on and he trying to make it right." Not when he is still having casual sex with Shasha*!!! The devil is a lie! I refuse to let myself fall into the same trap. The devil think he can get me but disguising the same foolishness, covering it up with sweetness and a FORM of Godliness. #FAIL , I'm not going. Real talk, I bind these tricks of the enemy in Jesus name right now! I just got to get this forgiveness thing under wraps so I can receive all that God has for me. He spoke a word for me, and he word will not return unto him void. He's just waiting on me to LET IT GO! I need much prayer and help with this thing here."
(NO, I did not use any real names to protect their identity.)
Forgiveness
"Forgiveness. This is something that I am just not realizing I'm having a problem with. I have always thought in the back of my mind if I just keep saying that I forgive a person that one day it would be true but, I realized that is not the case. In all the bad situations I've been in where I have been done wrong by someone, I have just been told to "get over it". People say that all the time, but how do you truly just get over something? I have notice that although I've said I've forgiven certain people, I still hold some pin up aggression towards them. I'm truly trying to live right but hold this type of feeling towards people is not Christ-like. But it is really hard to forgive when people aren't sorry for what they did to you. I've always heard holding on to stuff is not going to hurt anyone but yourself, because that person is sleeping at night not while you sit up here up set. But no one can answer me; how do you do that? I notice that the people I cannot forgive are all females, and we all fell out over a guy. I was able to forgive the guys over the girls for some reason. I did notice that two of these females were once my good friends and then went after the guy I was with. I feel more betrayed by them because of the fact that they were my friends and our friendship clearly didn't mean anything to them because they have absolutely no remorse for what they did to me. The thing I can't figure out for the life of me though, if the Bible says "what so ever a man soweth, that shall he reap", if I am the innocent party in the scenario, why does it seem like the people to do me wrong never reap what they sow? I have never purposely ever done wrong to anyone so why do so many people do me wrong and go on being happy with their lives. Perhaps there is a lesson in all of this that I wasn't getting. I was choosing the wrong people to let get close to me. Perhaps I need to pray for discernment regarding the people in my life. I've ask God to remove people from my life if they weren't meant to be there, but why dose there have to be damage done before they leave? Why not just bow out gracefully? I know this is something I seriously need to work on because, I hindering myself from my blessing because I can't let go of the past and has happened to me. I have taken a step closer to forgive Jae* because I think the only thing that was hindering me is was because when I see her, she would be looking at me crazy. I just recent hear more about the situation with Shasha* with and it is bothering me; more than before. I actually showed emotion. Before I just said I was done with the friendship and left it at that; never really cried about it, but when I found out that she was still having sex with him, had mixed emotions. A part of me was happy because now she wants to be with him and he don't want to be with her and basically be treating her ...but yet and still he still in my face trying to "rekindle" what was (and I know that's wrong to be happy about that, but I feel a little justice being done because she ruined a good friendship over him......I hope it was all worth it). And then I apart of me was upset because, (and for the first time I'm really going to stop lying to myself) I still care about Jason*, and no woman wants to picture the person that they dealt with over a year having continual sex with someone who was once a close friend. For me to look at him and know that he having sex with her.......it hurts. On top of that it just deepens the stab wound in my back that she created by betraying me like that. I really considered Shasha* a good friend of mine. What really makes it worst to me is because; I talked to her about him.....multiple times. But I still haven't learned my lesson about talking to female about my guys (I should have learned that lesson with Tonya*). Because I feel soooo betrayed, I can't see myself forgiving her.......but I know I have to. Like I'm on the border line of hating her for what she did. What is the difference in forgiving in being phony? To me they could appear the same. I honestly need someone to talk to who is not going to judge me. In the past when I told people how I felt in situations like this, they didn't take into account how what I was going through truly made me feel, and kind of looked at me as if I was pathetic and told me to shut up crying and get over it. Get over it? HOW??????? People act like that is the easiest thing in the world to do! If it is please, please tell me how. I would like to know so that I can't lighten the burden on my heart. Heck I haven't fully forgiven Tonya* for what she did to me. I still don't care for her. I really just need something...anything that can help me move on and get on with my life. This might be what holding me up from meeting my Boaz. But I really need to, no matter, how hard it maybe, get Jason* out of my life! I'm low-key trying to hold on to a seasonal person who God has already revealed to me is not who he has for me, all because he telling me what I want to here and I have some people in the background saying "well ya'll got chemistry.....maybe he'll realized what he missed out on and he trying to make it right." Not when he is still having casual sex with Shasha*!!! The devil is a lie! I refuse to let myself fall into the same trap. The devil think he can get me but disguising the same foolishness, covering it up with sweetness and a FORM of Godliness. #FAIL , I'm not going. Real talk, I bind these tricks of the enemy in Jesus name right now! I just got to get this forgiveness thing under wraps so I can receive all that God has for me. He spoke a word for me, and he word will not return unto him void. He's just waiting on me to LET IT GO! I need much prayer and help with this thing here."
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