A Letter to Benedict Arnold Pt. 2

So why do we do this to ourselves? It all stems from 1 thing...the relationship with the father figures in our lives. Weather he was there or wasn't, there is a  disconnect somewhere, where we didn't learn how a man is suppose to love a woman, we didn't learn that we are a man's favor with God, therefore we have the power. If I may use my life as an example, my father was not there when I was a child, so I  knew nothing of how a man is suppose to love a woman, other than what I saw on TV. As a heavier girl, being made fun of for being over weight and not the most "popular" because I considered myself saved; well my actions in the teenage years of my life just reflected what I saw and was told all of mywhole  life from the media and from classmates: I wasn't the bomb.com and because I wasn't a size 2 if I got a man and wanted to keep him, make sure his "NEEDS" are put first. No this isn't something that literally ran across my mind, but it was there subconciously. I hid it from myself under thoughts of "humm, I'll show them. I am pretty I can get a man." or in later years, "I tired of men treating me this way so I'm do the samething to them." Now this segway leads to another major point that I must make. If you are one of those women who loves to make the arguement of "I just want to have my sexual freedom; I can have sex with no emotion" that is a lie that you have allowed the devil to convince you of and you need to rebuke that demon and cast him back to the pit of hell that he came from. Those thoughts come from a deeply hurt place, that has yet to be healed. If you feel that you can have sex with no emotions, there was someone where in your past that hurt you deeply, and you, in order to cope, have made yourself numb. Sweetheart you are worth sooooo much more than that. I can talk because I'm talking from exprience. I'm not sharing my personal life for pitty. If one person can be blessed, change there life, and give their life over to Christ because of my testimony, then every hurt feeling, tear, sleepless night, or thought of suicide was worth it and God is getting the glory anyhow. Because we have endured so much and may not know or truly realize the love God has for us, we stand for nothing, and allow everything. I am just now in my early 20's realizing that I am worth soooo much more and you are too my sister. I am now able to know what true love is through the love that God as shown me. I didnt know then that it says in Ephesians 5:25 that a man is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. I just allowed what ever for the sake of saying "I have a man", when in actuality we do not have to lower I standards and accept what is handed to us just because we think that what we want is not going to be accepted. We are called on be holy and acceptible unto Christ and that includes dating. And if he can't accept that then brother man needs to move around. #RealTalk. When I listened and allowed ppl to make me feel low about my physical appearance I didnt realize that it states in Psalms 139 that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. When God made everything, it was good, so how dare we allow the devil to tell us otherwise.

To be continued...............